http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20364/5-no-fail-ways-to-get-and-stay-happier.html

5 No-Fail Ways To Get (And Stay) Happier

Do you ever wonder why some people are happier than others? As a life-coach and author, I discovered that despite our vast differences, we are more similar than we realize. We all want love, acceptance, and appreciation. It's our strategies for achieving these things that vary. In general, people see the world in one of two ways: full of possibilities or full of obstacles. Your interpretation of the world creates your reality.

If you're trying to reach a new goal, you have to do what you have not done before.

Here are five ways to shift your perspective that can make a huge difference in the success of your life's pursuits. 

1. Stop focusing on problems that don’t exist.

Problems are an inevitable part of life. But how we approach them depends on our worldview. An excuse-oriented person falls back on reasons it can’t be done. Maybe it’s been done before, or it will take too much time or money, so they throw their hands up in the air and say, “why bother?” 

Solution-oriented people look for answers in the unknown territory of life. They are the trendsetters, inspirational leaders, authors you love, or creative types tackling problems head on. They are the people who, instead of saying it can’t be done, say, “Watch me.” 

2. Visualize results. 

People fall into one of two buckets when it comes to making their dreams come true. They will focus on all the reasons it can’t be done or the results they want to see. If you are trying to reach a new goal, you have to do what you haven’t done before. That requires you to focus on the possibilities. Results-driven people often make their dreams come true faster, and they are happier, healthier, and wealthier. 

3. Assume it can be done. 

Last week I proposed a problem for my students to solve. One student raised her hand and politely said, "It can’t be done." I smiled and replied, "With that mindset, you’re right. But if you assume it can be solved, you will be able to solve it." The students who thought they could solve it did. Those who said it couldn't be done stayed stuck. 

The results we see in life are based on what we think. What you think, you become. If you want new results, look for new ways to approach old problems. 

4. Know when to break the rules. 

Steve Jobs, Pablo Picasso, Ghandi: all visionaries praised for their innovation. Without breaking rules, they wouldn't have made the same impact or contributions that they did. That doesn't mean all rules were meant to be broken. They exist to keep order in place. 

But breaking rules with a purpose — relinquishing limiting perspectives to come up with creative solutions — is a necessary part of the creative process. Give yourself permission to break rules when you feel limited by them, as long as your actions won't negatively impact others. 

5. Believe the world is a kind, loving place.

We attract what we believe. If you look at the world in a negative light and see hate, sadness, and pain, you will feel more of that in your life. But when you focus on small acts of kindness, on love, on opportunity, and on hope, joy will be yours for the taking. 

Life is what you make of it. Make it something great. 

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

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A Nighttime Ritual For Deep, Restful Sleep

The secret to waking up happier and well-rested? A smarter nighttime routine. What we choose to do with our evening hours directly impacts our quality of sleep, significantly influencing our mood and energy levels the next day. Truth is, most of us spend our nights binge-watching TV shows, texting and late night snacking — none of which are great for catching quality zzz’s. The good news: Revamping your bedtime routine can be easy — and fun. Here, we teamed up with our pals at 21 drops to create a new nighttime ritual that will help you get that precious shut-eye you crave. Stick to this sleep-priming plan each night and we promise you’ll be counting fewer sheep and feeling fresh come morning. 

Prep Your Space

1. Plan ahead.

If you tend to be a night owl, try working with your natural body clock. Use those evening hours, when you feel most energized, to get yourself organized for the next day. Plan your outfit, lay out gym clothes, file papers, pack your office bag, prepare lunches or prep an easy on-the-go breakfast to stash in the fridge overnight. Just a little prep work (say, 15 to 30 minutes) will help ease the morning rush. 

2. Power down.

Declare the hour before bedtime a digital-free zone. Not only does the bright blue glow of tech toys disrupt your body clock, but that one last look at Facebook can easily turn into an hour of mindless web surfing that could be spent doing something more enjoyable in the morning — like savoring your AM cup of coffee. 

3. Tidy up.

Fact: Mess causes stress. Princeton University researchers found that visual clutter (think: piles of mail, clothes, etc.) inhibits our ability to focus, leaving us feeling frazzled. Before you hit the hay, do the dishes, take out the trash, hang up your clothes, sort the mail and stash TV remotes and magazines. Putting things back in their rightful place will have a calming effect, too. 

4. Lights out.

Exposure to too much electrical light before bed can significantly suppress levels of melatonin, the hormone that helps make us feel sleepy, a study in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology finds. Dim the lights or turn off all unnecessary lighting after dusk to help you ease into sleep naturally. 

5. Cool off.

Cool evenings may make you want to crank up the heat, but you’ll snooze better if you don’t. The optimal sleeping temperature is somewhere between 60 and 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Temps in this range cause a drop in your core body temperature that initiates sleepiness, say sleep experts. Worried you’ll be too cold to crawl out of the covers come morning? Treat yourself to a new pair of cozy slippers or a warm, fluffy robe and leave them at the foot of the bed. 

Prep Your Body & Mind

1. Sip Tea.

Decaffeinated herbal teas like chamomile and passion fruit have a calming and sedative effect on the body. Plus, there’s something comforting about having a hot beverage before bed. Just creating the habit of pouring a cup may help signal your body that it’s time for sleep, helping you relax and unwind. 

2. Curb late night snacking.

Sugar in sweets we often crave at night wake us up right when we’re trying to wind down. What’s more, late night eaters are prone to overeating, increasing the risk of unwanted weight gain. If your tummy is really grumbling before bed, reach for a healthier snack like whole grain crackers and cheese, walnuts or almonds—all of which contain sleep-inducing tryptophan.

3. Stretch it out.

Feeling restless? A little restorative yoga and deep breathing exercises can help put your mind at ease and steady your breath, making it easier to nod off at night. 

4. Write on.

Mental to-do lists and concerns about work, relationships and finances can make it tough to turn our brains off at night. To calm racing thoughts, keep a small notebook or notepad on your nightstand. Just thought of something you need to do? Jot it down. Have a worry that’s leaving you tossing and turning? Write about it. Studies show putting our thoughts to paper help us problem solve, clear our heads, reduce stress, and make us feel happier. 

5. Smell something nice.

Inhaling serene scents is a great way to ensure a restful and relaxing night’s sleep. Evidence suggests certain aromas may actually reduce blood pressure and heart rate, creating a calming effect in the body. Mist this sedating scent around your room, over your pillow and even on your body for a soothing bedtime ritual: 

• ½ ounce of Rose Hydrosol
• ½ ounce distilled water
• 4 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
• 4 drops Patchouli essential oil
• 8 drops Sandalwood essential oil

Combine the ingredients into a 1 oz misting bottle. Shake gently before misting. 

Sweet dreams! 

Photo Credit: Stocksy

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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

~by Amy Morin, LCSW

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. Check out these things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become more mentally strong.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

They accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

They don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

They don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

Click here for a printable version of the “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”

---

---

Read 5 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Mental Strength

Get my new book: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

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http://www.amymorinlcsw.com/mentally-strong-people/

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

~by Amy Morin, LCSW

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. Check out these things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become more mentally strong.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

They accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

They don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

They don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

Click here for a printable version of the “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”

---

---

Read 5 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Mental Strength

Get my new book: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

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KITTEN THERAPY

http://youtu.be/35T8wtmTbVg

http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/17-simple-habits-that-make-you-look-more-professional.html

17 Simple Habits That Make You Look More Professional

(A quick note before we get started. I wrote the following in response to reader feedback to another column: 10 Bad Habits That Make You Look Really Unprofessional. This post is the counterpoint to that one.)

Here's a story from about 15 years ago. I was traveling from Seattle to Yakima for work, flying in a tiny commercial turboprop. There were only about 10 or 12 passengers, and the cockpit was separated by a curtain, rather than a door. We flew through the Cascade mountains in really rough weather, and the captain--a young pilot in his early 20s--pulled the curtain aside.

"The tower is saying it's our choice to continue to Yakima or turn around," he yelled over the din of the engines, "But I think we're gonna give it a try."

What’s wrong with this picture, right? "I think" and "Give it a try" are pretty much the last things you want to hear a commercial airline pilot say, especially in a bad storm. My fellow passengers nearly revolted. The pilot quickly changed course (both literally and figuratively), and we flew back to Seattle.

I've told that story a few times over the years, usually for laughs But remember: It wasn't really the storm, or the tiny plane, or air traffic control's apparent laissez-fair attitude that freaked us passengers out. It's that the pilot's attitude made him seem totally unprofessional--and we all lost confidence in him.

Here are a few of the attributes you can demonstrate to make yourself seem more professional. I’m not saying they’re easy, but they are pretty simple. (Keep in mind though--even nobody demonstrates them all constantly. You’re only human. Just try to be the best human you can.)

1. Confidence

This was the biggest problem with the pilot's performance that day. Confidence without the ability to back it up is useless, but if you’re truly competent, own it.

2. Candor

Clearly--don't be dishonest. Beyond that however, truly professional people are forthright. They assess the situation, calculate the risks, and offer a truthful opinion.

3. Self-awareness

This is a part of displaying confidence--knowing who you are and where you fit in the world, and owning your strengths and weaknesses. Then, work to buttress the things you don't do as well.

4. Strategic thinking

One of the basic tenets of success is to start with the end in mind. Truly professional people identify their goals, and work backward to achieve them.

5. Anticipation

Be like Radar O'Reilly. Wait, you probably don't get that reference, because most people reading this probably weren't watching the television show M*A*S*H in the 1980s. (See? Self-awareness.) No problem. Just know that focusing on others' needs to the point that you can anticipate their challenges and solutions breeds confidence.

6. Caring

Related to anticipation: You can't truly help others unless you can be bothered to learn about their goals and fears.

7. Realism

"Promise me the world," the song goes. That may be a way to get the boy or girl of your dreams to pay attention, but it does nothing to make you look professional. Instead, promise the most you can, consistent with your ability to deliver.

8. Follow-through

See what I mean? These attributes are simple but not necessarily easy. Say you'll do something; then do it.

9. Enthusiasm

This one is inspired by reader comments, when I said Pollyannaishness was unprofessional. Smart enthusiasm, on the other hand, is a very positive quality. Colin Powell put it best: Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

10. Diligence

This is related to follow-through, but it's not exactly the same thing. Be persistent, demonstrate worth ethic, and "check small things." (That’s another Powellism, come to think of it.)

11. Performance

Nothing says "professional" like accomplishments, especially repeated accomplishments over time.

12. Discretion

Caring and self-awareness, combined with good communications ability, leads to prudence and the ability to be candid without giving offense.

13. Curiosity

No professional is ever finished learning. ‘Nuff said.

14. Risk-taking

I hesitated to put this on here, out of fear of giving the wrong impression. Risk-taking doesn't mean being risky in the negative sense. Instead it’s about the realization that all courses of action involve some risk, and balancing that realization against the paralyzation of inaction.

15. Humor

You don’t need to be hilarious, but you need a sense of humor; it demonstrates perspective.

16. Fitness

This is unfortunate but true. If someone looks as if he or she doesn’t care about their health, it’s a lot harder to project professionalism--and with it, the notion that they care about other things.

17. Authenticity

It’s good entrepreneurial advice to “fake it ’til you make it,” but your performance needs to be grounded in truth. Otherwise, no matter your skills, your deficits, your interests--or frankly even the things you aren’t interested in--people can tell.

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http://www.ireland.com/en-us/what-is-available/natural-landscapes-and-sights/natural-landscapes/articles/summer-images-ireland/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=pcm&utm_campaign=summer-images-ireland

6 amazing images of Ireland in summer

     

Inisheer (Inis Oírr), Aran Islands

1. Inisheer/Inis Oírr (Aran Islands, County Galway)

Meet Inisheer, a bastion of the Irish language (each summer, thousands of children and teenagers make their way here from all over Ireland to perfect their language skills) and the smallest of the three Aran Islands. But as we all know, good things come in small packages.

A beach to rival those in the tropics and a paean to the art of stone wall architecture, this is an island with character. The now sunken church (once established by St Caomhán, elder brother to Glendalough’s St Kevin) and the rusting Plassey shipwreck add intrigue.

     

Glenariff, County Antrim (Credit: Shutterstock)

2. Glens of Antrim (County Antrim)

Imagine a deep green coastal vale with forest parks, waterfalls and riverside paths. Now multiply that by nine. Famed in song and story, the Glens of Antrim are nine verdant valleys on the Causeway Coastal Route, complete with individual names and local lore.

Highlights include views across to Scotland, the Heart of the Glens Festival (August) in Cushendall, hillwalking trails and the fuchsia and honey-suckle that bloom in summer.

Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying 'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

Danny Boy, a popular ballad written by Frederic Weatherly

     

Slieve League Cliffs, County Donegal 

3. Slieve League Cliffs (County Donegal)

If there’s a more humbling sight than the Slieve League Cliffs during the golden hour, we haven’t seen it. At almost three times the height of the Cliffs of Moher in County Clare (a staggering 609m or 1,998 feet) these sheer outcrops are among the highest sea cliffs in Europe.

Early morning or late evening is when the cliffs – and local seabirds – are at their most photogenic.

Take pictures in the early morning or late evening when the sun is low. It means you could catch things like flowing streams that turn golden with the sun. 

Photographer John Eagle on shooting Ireland in summer

     

Harry Avery's Castle, County Tyrone

4. Harry Avery Castle (County Tyrone)

Hunting for ancient castles in Ireland? Here’s another for your list. Built almost 700 years ago, historians consider the building more tower house than full-on castle in style but that doesn’t diminish its impact.

Sitting on an artificially heightened mound among rolling Tyrone hillside, the pile is thought to have been built by a Gaelic chieftan, while the name is believed to derive from an anglicised version of Henry Aimbreidh O'Neill, hence, Harry Avery. We hope the original architects were fortunate enough to admire it in similarly sunny conditions as above.

     

Lough McNean, Fermanagh Lakelands

5. The Fermanagh Lakelands (County Fermanagh)

What makes Fermanagh such a summer hotspot? It could be the Palladian mansions, stately estates and crumbling ruins sewn into the landscape. Or perhaps it’s natural curiosities like the subterranean Marble Arch Caves Geopark or the Cuilcagh Mountain, where the River Shannon rises.

We think it’s the region’s stunning lakelands: 700km of rivers, canals, islands and lakes, all waiting to be Instagrammed.

As the locals will tell you, the lakes are in Fermanagh for six months of the year. For the other six, Fermanagh is in the lakes.

Lonely Planet

     

Howth Head, County Dublin 

6. Howth (County Dublin)

What do Oscar-nominated actress Saoirse Ronan, Booker Prize-winning author John Banville and U2 drummer Larry Mullen have in common? They all live in Howth, a fishing village in Dublin that’s as pretty as a postcard come summer.

It’s become something of a hotspot for city-breaks, whether hiking the coast at Howth Head (as seen above under a pink evening sunset), scuba diving in the Irish Sea or taking a stroll in the historic harbor with a traditional fish and chips in hand.

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