You know you have insomnia, but what does that really mean? Our understanding of how our brains regulate sleep and wake has evolved. As a result, we've gained greater insight into insomnia and what causes it.
Scientific discoveries about insomnia have shown that your brain actually has two systems. One helps you sleep; the other helps keep you awake. The wake system sends out signals that put your brain into an alert, or more active, state. This helps you wake up in the morning and stay awake during the day. The sleep system sends signals that help you fall and stay asleep at night.
When your two systems function as they should, they complement each other, taking turns being in charge and sending signals at the right times. But that's not always the case. If your wake system stays active when it's time to sleep, it's considered to be in an overactive state and insomnia may be a result.
The feeling of being trapped between wake and sleep has more science behind it than you may think. When you wake in the morning, your brain sends signals that move it into an alert, or active, state. This helps you stay awake during the day. If these signals don't slow down at night, and you stay in an alert state, your brain is believed to be in a position of overactivity. If this happens, your sleep system may not be able to take over – this may be what's causing your insomnia.
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Credit: Donna Grethen
By Virginia Ford And Robert Enlow
Angelicia Rathell knows there's no such thing as a get-out-of-jail card in life, but the Milwaukee mom credits a local school voucher program for keeping her boys on a path toward success and away from bad choices.
"If they would have stayed in public school, they certainly would have stayed in trouble because there was so much fighting in their school," Rathell said of her two sons, Dustin and Donovan. "I think they would have had a chance of dropping out and doing stupid things. Now, one is about to go to college and the other will enroll in college next year."
The Milwaukee Parental Choice Program, a voucher first enacted in 1990 for families earning 175% of poverty level or less, enabled her sons to attend Milwaukee Lutheran High School, where discipline and academics are a deep part of the school culture. She said her children now have great aspirations, unlike many of their peers. "They are going to turn out great in life," Rathell said.
Sadly, that's not the case for far too many students of color like Dustin and Donovan.
According to the U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights, black students represent 16% of student enrollment, but 27% of students referred to law enforcement and 31% of students subjected to a school-related arrest. The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics has reported that the incarceration rate for African-Americans is six times as high as the national average, and in 2010 nearly a third of black male high school dropouts aged 25 to 29 were imprisoned or otherwise institutionalized.
These dramatic numbers are a reality despite the fact that the United States spends billions each year on social and school programs designed to help low-income, minority families break the cycle of poverty and crime.
Fortunately, there now exists evidence that educational choice — like the Milwaukee program that empowered Rathell's sons and similar state and local programs across America — may be an easier and more affordable solution than many of these federally administered programs.
According to new research, exposure to private school through parental choice lowers the rates of crime among low-income African-Americans as young adults.
Corey DeAngelis and Patrick J. Wolf of the University of Arkansas just released a report that examines Milwaukee's Parental Choice Program and found that those students who used it through high school had a 5% to 7% decrease in misdemeanors compared to their peers who attended public schools, as well as a 3% reduction in felonies. Among all crimes, the drop ranged between 5% and 12%. The longer students stayed in private school with the voucher, the less likely they were to become involved in criminal activity.
Currently, Milwaukee's voucher program supports 27,000 students who attend 110 private schools.
Research has shown that other forms of school choice also have had positive effects on minority students. A 2011 study, for example, found that high-risk students who won a charter school lottery in Charlotte-Mecklenberg County in North Carolina had a significantly decreased risk of committing a crime.
We know from our own research that parents across America, particularly those in urban areas, are clamoring for access to charter schools, private schools and other school choice options. They tell us they don't just want their child to get a better education in a better academic environment; they want their children to be in safer schools that emphasize discipline. Some of them are even willing to risk going to jail for lying about their address to get their kids a seat in a better school.
Without access to a quality education, these students are likely to fall behind and may wind up as expensive statistics in our criminal justice system. Educational choice lowers that risk by empowering families to send their children to schools that meet their needs.
For low-income families across our nation, the American dream doesn't look like a Norman Rockwell painting. Rather, it's the opportunity to succeed, to break down barriers and to move forward. The best way to accelerate that trajectory is ensuring students are well-educated.
As Rathell of Milwaukee said of her two sons: "They have a great future."
That's what we all should want for our students, and we should empower more families with the options to help them get there.
Virginia Ford, who serves on the D.C. Advisory Committee of the U.S. Civil Rights Commission, is a board member of the Friedman Foundation for Educational Choice. Robert Enlow is president and CEO of the Friedman Foundation for Educational Choice.
It ALL makes sense now.
I’m definitely an introvert. It’s not that I constantly sit by myself in a corner and never talk to people. I can be social, but I also get overwhelmed in social situations. I’m famous for leaving parties early.
I enjoy spoken word and comedy shows, so I’m forced to go out and see people. Often times, I’m required to speak to people before or after a show, and make small talk. Small talk isn’t my jam. I’ve crossed the street to avoid talking to people.
We introverts aren’t great at small talk; in fact, we aren’t good at it at all.
A piece on The Huffington Post revealed the rationality behind why introverts have issues with small talk. The reason introverts would rather hide out in the frozen foods section of the grocery store than talk to an ex-classmate is because it feels completely false and meaningless.
When you’re stuck at a party and find yourself talking about the appetizers with someone you barely know, you’re not learning anything new or even getting to know your conversation partner any better.
Psychologist Laurie Helgoe, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength, contends that small talk actually blocks true interaction.
“Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people,” she writes in her book. “We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
People who are introverted tend to prefer substantial conversations about philosophy and ideas rather than chit-chat. In fact, introverts can get easily intimidated, bored or exhausted by small talk. They’d much rather be real with someone and talk about more weighty topics.
Besides feeling fake and pointless, small talk drains an introvert’s limited people-energy. If you look at the energy supply that introverts have for social interaction as a battery, their battery gains or loses energy depending on the social interaction.
If they’re speaking to a friend about a topic that fascinates them, their battery is recharged and at full capacity again. However, if they’re waiting in line at the post office and someone they barely know is going on and on about the horrible service, all the energy has drained out of the battery.
Unfortunately, to succeed in the world you need to be able to make small talk without feeling like you need to retire to a cave for a few months. The key to surviving making small talk tolerable and less draining is to take control of the conversation and steer it toward topics that are actually interesting.
Introverts get energized and excited by ideas. Delve in and ask questions, and if they ask you a question, give them an interesting, more-than-one-word response. Make those questions interesting and creative: “What can you tell me about your latest project?”
The upside to asking questions and listening to the responses with interest, is that you’ll be more likable and make a better impression. Knowing that might help make small talk a little easier.
This article has been republished from YourTango.com
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How frequently do the words “I don’t have time” pass your lips? Quite often, I'll bet.
But here's some news for you: It’s a lie. We all have 24 hours in each day—you, me, Oprah. If you are alive, you have time. But how to allocate your time on this opportunity-rich Earth is up to you.
Every time we say “I don’t have time,” it makes us feel weak and out of control. We buy into the myth of the rush against the hourglass—the daily race we’re all losing to get it all done.
The truth is, you are in control of your hours and your life. And hate to break it to you, but you are likely wasting a lot of it! According to Nielsen, the average American watches about five hours of TV per day.
But I know it's not as easy as simply turning off the TV. Here are four concrete steps that'll help you take back control and get time on your side.
Some popular responses I hear (outside of our jobs): cooking, yoga, date nights, side-hustling, watching House of Cards, Skyping family, reading, taking bubble baths, hanging out with friends, going to sporting events, and catching up on sleep on Sundays.
These are all awesome and important things—if they make you happy! And all of these can be done over the course of a week. Think about it: If you work eight hours per day and sleep eight hours per day, you have eight hours per day for everything else.
Depending on your job, it could be a little less—maybe four or five hours per day. But that's still plenty of time to whip up a nice dinner, enjoy some social time with people you love, hit the gym, kick back with a podcast, and even catch up with President Underwood for an episode or two.
These hours exist. Acknowledge them! They can add up to a solid good chunk per week, not including the jackpot of extra hours: the weekend!
Be honest: Do you spend an hour or two scrolling through Facebook and Instagram every day? Are you a little too hungover on Saturday mornings to work out or run some necessary errands, which eats into your time to chill or read? Are you spending time with people that you don’t really like just to please them? Are there meetings you attend that you can politely decline?
It’s time to get real about the hours in your week that add up to a whole lot of dissatisfying nothing. Think instead of how you can eliminate daily activites that are not useful and replace them with things that satisfy you. I love nothing more than saying no to a boring brunch date to sit with a book for two hours. Bliss!
People tell me how they have no time to read or will start their blog/yoga teacher training/closet clean-out when they “have the time.” Well, the time is now, my friend. But like planning for a nice meal or a job interview, you have to prepare a little.
The solution: Put it on your calendar! My calendar includes mani-pedi dates (a great two-in-one activity to catch up with a friend), researching books, coaching clients, writing, checking out a new eatery or two each week, meditation slots, calling my best friend in Australia, updating my software skills, walking my dog, and even going to the bank. This stuff doesn’t just happen. You’ve got to schedule it.
Plus, I have a blast planning. On Sunday nights, I love to sit down with a glass of chianti or a cup of tea, light a candle, and get excited about the week ahead. I always lock in the fun stuff first! I block off social stuff in purple, creative work in pink, workouts in turquoise, and business projects in blue. My calendar feels fun and vibrant. It’s like my trusty assistant—not my domineering boss!
Words matter. They have power. And let’s be honest: Saying “I don’t have time” is a bullsh*t excuse for not wanting to do something. Here are some awesome, empowering alternatives:
As Steven Covey, the late, best-selling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, wrote, “The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
So for the love of all things holy—get better at saying no. Turn off all those distracting notifications on your phone. Use little pockets of time the universe gives us (friend running late, cab stuck in traffic, meeting ending 10 minutes early) to squeeze in some productive thinking or action—and meditation totally counts. All these things can add up over time more than you believe!
Yes, it might feel strange at first. You’re seizing your power. But when you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else will plan it for you. But it's your life. And your precious hours on planet Earth. They’re all you’ve got!
Susie Moore is Greatist’s life coach columnist and a confidence coach in New York City. Sign up for her free weekly wellness tips on her website and check back every Tuesday for her latest column!
This article was written by Susie Moore from Greatist and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network.
To make sure your next step is the right step, go to Lifemap
Music and sounds in general are very powerful and influential forces in our lives.
Consider the sounds on a city street…
Birds chirping outside your window…
A crack of thunder in the distance…
These elicit very specific responses and reactions in our bodies.
Let me ask you…
Did the shark in Jaws snap you to the edge of your seat with its now infamous THEME … dun-dun…dun-dun?
Can you still hear the music from the Titanic?
Was Darth Vader more intimidating with the ominous Imperial March playing behind him?
Do you think of Jack and Rose pretending to fly on the bow of the Titanic when you hear the opening to My Heart Will Go On?
Of course the answer is yes…
The soundtrack to a movie is what creates your mood … moves you to feel anxiety, serenity, and even the pain of the characters…
In fact, throughout our entire history, music has had the power to transform us spiritually and physically.
Because as Longfellow pointed out…
Music is the universal language of mankind.
Now we’re discovering what the ancients have known for millennia – music also has the power to heal.
Here’s a glimpse of three problems music has the power to solve…
1. Brain Damage
Every year, approximately 90,000 people will be left with a long-term movement or speech disability as a result of a brain injury.
Researchers have found that music can provide a rhythm or beat for these individuals to walk to despite these impairments.
We’ve also seen that music can help patients sing words when they are unable to speak.
We may not understand exactly how or why this works, but we are starting to learn.
2. Hearing Loss (Prevention)
A fascinating study that compared hearing in lifelong musicians to non-musicians suggested that exposure to music can help people process sound better and longer throughout life.
One comparison showed that a 70-year-old lifelong musician was able to hear, in a noisy environment, at the same proficiency of a 50-year-old non-musician.
That’s a profound difference.
In this case, music might not be curing any ailments, but it certainly appears to be helping people hear better and longer throughout life.
And all this just from listneing to music over the course of your lifetime…
Imagine being able to enjoy the sounds of nature when you’re older just because you listened to music…
Imagine listening to the laughter of your grandchildren and great grandchildren whereas otherwise you might struggle to hear…
3. Heart Attack Recovery
Listening to music can mend a broken heart. No, not love or loss, but we’ve seen tremendous results from heart attack patients and heart surgey patients.
Certain music can help lower blood pressure, slow the heart rate, and even help reduce feelings of anxiety.
Research shows that listening to a more upbeat, joyful song can help with increased circulation and expanded blood vesssels.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Music is being used more frequently in hospitals to soothe postoperative pain, lower blood pressure, and boost immunity.
The reason for this is because music can balance hormones, boost the release of endorphins, giving you a greater sense of peace … which could lead to faster recovery and give you more profound healing.
If you’d like to learn more about how music can improve your health, click on the link below:
You’ll learn about 7 special musical tones that have been found to relieve stress and promote healing…
I’ve been a therapist for more than 10 years. I worked in social services for the decade before that. I knew grief. I knew how to handle it in myself, and how to attend to it in others. When my partner drowned on a sunny day in 2009, I learned there was a lot more to grief than I’d known.
Many people truly want to help a friend or family member who is experiencing a severe loss. Words often fail us at times like these, leaving us stammering for the right thing to say. Some people are so afraid to say or do the wrong thing, they choose to do nothing at all. Doing nothing at all is certainly an option, but it’s not often a good one.
While there is no one perfect way to respond or to support someone you care about, here are some good ground rules.
#1 Grief belongs to the griever.
You have a supporting role, not the central role, in your friend’s grief. This may seem like a strange thing to say. So many of the suggestions, advice and “help” given to the griever tells them they should be doing this differently, or feeling differently than they do. Grief is a very personal experience, and belongs entirely to the person experiencing it. You may believe you would do things differently if it had happened to you. We hope you do not get the chance to find out. This grief belongs to your friend: follow his or her lead.
#2 Stay present and state the truth.
It’s tempting to make statements about the past or the future when your friend’s present life holds so much pain. You cannot know what the future will be, for yourself or your friend — it may or may not be better “later.” That your friend’s life was good in the past is not a fair trade for the pain of now. Stay present with your friend, even when the present is full of pain.
It’s also tempting to make generalized statements about the situation in an attempt to soothe your friend. You cannot know that your friend’s loved one “finished their work here,” or that they are in a “better place.” These future-based, omniscient, generalized platitudes aren’t helpful. Stick with the truth: this hurts. I love you. I’m here.
#3 Do not try to fix the unfixable.
Your friend’s loss cannot be fixed or repaired or solved. The pain itself cannot be made better. Please see #2. Do not say anything that tries to fix the unfixable, and you will do just fine. It is an unfathomable relief to have a friend who does not try to take the pain away.
#4 Be willing to witness searing, unbearable pain.
To do #4 while also practicing #3 is very, very hard.
#5 This is not about you.
Being with someone in pain is not easy. You will have things come up — stresses, questions, anger, fear, guilt. Your feelings will likely be hurt. You may feel ignored and unappreciated. Your friend cannot show up for their part of the relationship very well. Please don’t take it personally, and please don’t take it out on them. Please find your own people to lean on at this time — it’s important that you be supported while you support your friend. When in doubt, refer to #1.
#6 Anticipate, don’t ask.
Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. Not because they do not need, but because identifying a need, figuring out who might fill that need, and then making a phone call to ask is light years beyond their energy levels, capacity or interest. Instead, make concrete offers: “I will be there at 4 p.m. on Thursday to bring your recycling to the curb,” or “I will stop by each morning on my way to work and give the dog a quick walk.” Be reliable.
#7 Do the recurring things.
The actual, heavy, real work of grieving is not something you can do (see #1), but you can lessen the burden of “normal” life requirements for your friend. Are there recurring tasks or chores that you might do? Things like walking the dog, refilling prescriptions, shoveling snow and bringing in the mail are all good choices. Support your friend in small, ordinary ways — these things are tangible evidence of love.
Please try not to do anything that is irreversible — like doing laundry or cleaning up the house — unless you check with your friend first. That empty soda bottle beside the couch may look like trash, but may have been left there by their husband just the other day. The dirty laundry may be the last thing that smells like her. Do you see where I’m going here? Tiny little normal things become precious. Ask first.
#8 Tackle projects together.
Depending on the circumstance, there may be difficult tasks that need tending — things like casket shopping, mortuary visits, the packing and sorting of rooms or houses. Offer your assistance and follow through with your offers. Follow your friend’s lead in these tasks. Your presence alongside them is powerful and important; words are often unnecessary. Remember #4: bear witness and be there.
#9 Run interference.
To the new griever, the influx of people who want to show their support can be seriously overwhelming. What is an intensely personal and private time can begin to feel like living in a fish bowl. There might be ways you can shield and shelter your friend by setting yourself up as the designated point person — the one who relays information to the outside world, or organizes well-wishers. Gatekeepers are really helpful.
#10 Educate and advocate.
You may find that other friends, family members and casual acquaintances ask for information about your friend. You can, in this capacity, be a great educator, albeit subtly. You can normalize grief with responses like,”She has better moments and worse moments and will for quite some time. An intense loss changes every detail of your life.” If someone asks you about your friend a little further down the road, you might say things like, “Grief never really stops. It is something you carry with you in different ways.”
#11 Love.
Above all, show your love. Show up. Say something. Do something. Be willing to stand beside the gaping hole that has opened in your friend’s life, without flinching or turning away. Be willing to not have any answers. Listen. Be there. Be present. Be a friend. Be love. Love is the thing that lasts.
Megan Devine is the author of Everything is Not Okay: an audio program for grief. She is a licensed clinical counselor, writer and grief advocate. You can find her at www.refugeingrief.com. Join her on facebook at www.facebook.com/refugeingrief
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