Friday, November 25, 2016

Here’s What Happened When Millennials Put Pen to Paper for a Week

Here’s What Happened When Millennials Put Pen to Paper for a Week

Writing things down doesn’t have to be sentimental. Journaling — in the form of writing, doodling, list-making and more — can help us process emotions, and it’s a simple way to tap into the imaginative part of our brain. With these benefits in mind, we partnered with the Paper & Packaging — How Life Unfolds ™ Campaign to explore how journaling would affect an array of B+C staffers.

journaling-week-15

The Paper and Packaging Board’s latest campaign, Letters of Peace, is all about encouraging people to express themselves creatively using paper. We were particularly curious to see how journaling with paper and pen could help us with self-reflection and creativity. Participants had one rule: They must journal 20 minutes every day for a week using a notebook and a pen. Two designers, one analyst, an editor and the President and GM of Media volunteered. We’re fascinated with the results!

MARIANNE, THE VISUAL THINKER

ppb-intro-marianne

Meet Marianne Koo, warmly known to her B+C pals as “Koo,” “Koo-licious,” and as a genius industrial designer with a heart of gold. Given her profession, it’s no surprise that she’s a visual thinker. We regularly catch Koo hand-lettering for our Instagram and blueprinting future company projects. For Marianne, we were particularly interested to see how carving out 20 minutes of *personal* creative time each night would affect her. Let’s find out!

What did you journal about?

“I journaled about EVERYTHING! I tried to let myself dwell a tiny bit on even the smallest thoughts. It feels like a good way to give something the time it deserves; then I can allow myself to move on. It’s something I’m trying to be better about, because I often let thoughts build up and they fuel my anxiety.”

How did you journal? 

“I did a bit of lettering, writing and doodling. Sometimes it felt easier to express how I was feeling that day with a diagram, other days I felt like I really needed to articulate myself with large chunks of text.”

What time of day did you usually journal?

“Usually in the evenings after work, but some days I woke up and immediately started journaling. One morning in particular, I woke up from a dream with the most amazing textile. I dreamt that a good friend’s grandmother hand-embroidered this intricate blanket and she was showing me every detail of it. It was insane. I woke up and knew I had to sketch it out. Maybe one day I’ll recreate it.”

Did it feel like a chore? Why or why not?

Some days writing did feel like a chore, but I had to remind myself that it’s such a healthy release. Again, it’s so necessary for me to give myself the space to think about something, and then to let it go. It’s a way for me to exorcise the negative thoughts that would otherwise stress me out.

Was it easy to fill the full 20 minutes every day? Did you? 

“20 minutes felt like a lot of time! Some days it felt like I had zero thoughts in my head. With my creative job, I’ve been conditioned to feel that 20 minutes is more than enough time to crank out a concept sketch or to write an email, so it was definitely challenging to spend 20 minutes on one thing strictly dedicated to my personal life.”

Did you find yourself thinking in a new or unexpected way? 

“Expressing myself in diagrams is definitely an interesting way to think. I don’t think anyone naturally breaks themselves up into bits of information, so learning to do that was SO weird. Like is this percentage of me really angry? Or sad? On a scale of 1-10, how excited was I today?”

What was your overall experience with this challenge? Any big takeaways?

“The big takeaway is that it’s difficult to make time for a designated activity every day, but the payoff can be so rewarding. Ultimately, writing and drawing in a journal is dedicating time to reflect on yourself, and I think it’s a form of self-care that’s often overlooked.”

How do you think using pen and paper affected your journaling? 

“Woof, have you ever considered how much your handwriting deteriorates after using a computer for X amount of years? Yikes! It was scary to think that a pen on paper felt foreign, and some days my writing was complete chicken scratch. As a visual person, that drove me crazy and made me want to practice and work on that muscle memory a bit more.”

What word/phrase comes to mind to sum up this experience? 

“Therapeutic.”

EMILY, THE #GIRLBOSS

Next up, Emily Smith! As our President and GM of Media *and* a mom of three, it’s no surprise that Emily is a very busy person. We were curious to see how designating a chunk of time to creative self-reflection would impact her week. Take a look.

How did your week with journaling go? 

“Last week was completely nuts and I found it impossible to journal during the week. However, feeling bad about that, I doubled down and journaled all weekend. If I left the house, I slipped my journal into my purse so I would have it handy. It basically never left my side.”

How do you think using pen and paper affected your journaling? 

“I have tried journaling in apps a few times recently, and I really enjoyed using paper instead. With apps, you end up drifting over into other digital distractions, such as email, texts, news alerts. But with paper, I found myself staying in the moment a lot more. I also liked documenting the daily details — writing in pen made the whole weekend feel more permanent and memorable.”

What did you journal about?

“I cooked a lot and entertained this weekend, so my poor journal is covered in cooking debris and smudged with dirty fingerprints. I wrote down menu plans, to-do lists, and groceries that I needed. As I cleaned up from my daughter’s earlier birthday party, I clipped samples of her gift wrap so I could remember the day. On Sunday night, I cranked out a list of all the things that happened that weekend.”

Did you find yourself thinking in a new or unexpected way? 

“In some ways it was a perfectly normal weekend, but I knew it was filled with the kinds of things I would forget over time. Some mundane — my son’s soccer game got rained out; some amazing — my daughter’s friend brought over a puppy and we had a puppy play date that was about the cutest thing ever; some awful — our neighbor got robbed (in her home while she was there!) and a police officer came over to ask if we had seen anything unusual. I wrote it all down in my journal.”

Will you continue to journal now that the exercise is over?

“I will definitely keep it up!”

What word or phrase comes to mind to sum up this experience?

“It made the little things matter more.”

JEFF, MR ANALYST

Jeff Kneis is quite literally analytical — his job at Brit + Co is to decipher our content analytics across the web. If you asked someone else, he’s very creative — heck, he has the most expansive knowledge of GIFs and memes I’ve ever seen, and knows the perfect moment to share the virtual gems. IMHO, that’s definitely a form of creative thinking ;) But Jeff was certain he’d have the least creative POV when it came to his journaling. Let’s see what happened.

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What did you journal about? 

“I journaled about different topics each day, through a mixture of drawing and writing.”

Did you find yourself thinking in a new or unexpected way? 

“I did feel more creative, mostly when drawing. I found it difficult to break out of my analytical mindset and think of ideas, so I drew images inspired by other artists instead. But it definitely made me think about things in a different way. Journaling forced me to use parts of my brain that I didn’t use regularly. I think (especially with work the last few years) I have really focused on thinking analytically. I lost some of the creativity I might have had in college when I was reading and writing more often.”

Was it easy to fill the full 20 minutes every day? Did you? 

“It was pretty easy to take up 20 minutes. I probably ended up journaling for more like 30 minutes a day without even realizing it.”

Did it feel like a chore?

“It did feel like a chore on the weekend and one day during the week. It was good to set some time out of the day to just relax and do something different. It only felt like a chore when I had a lot of other things going on.”

What was your overall experience with this challenge? Any big takeaways? 

“I think it was a nice challenge. I always knew this would be a little harder for me than a lot of people here at Brit + Co. It’s just not something I do too often anymore. The patterns were a nice transition though. That helped me ease into it.”

What word or phrase comes to mind to sum up this experience? 

“Interesting and challenging. It was harder than I thought it was going to be to break my analytical thought process.”

CORTNEY, THE WRITER

Disclaimer: Cortney Clift is a writer, and a good one. In fact, she’s authored more articles on Brit + Co than anyone else! With a job where she literally writes all day, we were curious to see what she’d take away from solo creative journaling. Take a peek.

What did you journal about?

“I’ve recently read about how doodling can be cathartic. Since I rarely draw on a regular basis, I decided to do different doodles of things I had done each day.”

Did it feel like a chore? 

“Actually no! By the third day I was looking forward to it. It was nice to exercise that part of my brain that I haven’t really used since art school. I think I actually journaled more than 20 minutes each night.”

Did you find yourself thinking in a new or unexpected way? 

“Any time I draw, I have to think differently and kind of stretch a different creative muscle. So, yes!”

How do you think using pen and paper affected your journaling? 

“For me, journaling on pen and paper is very therapeutic. It’s nice to see it actually on the page. It’s also really nice for me to purposefully spend some time away from my phone/laptop/tablet.”

What word or phrase comes to mind to sum up this experience?

“Cathartically creative!”

MARISA, RESIDENT B+C DOODLER

Next up, Marisa Bo Kumtong! She’s an incredibly skilled visual designer that’s a master of doodling and graphic design. Her whimsical illustrations can be seen all over brit.co, our Instagram and even in our coloring book. Another reason we adore this girl: She’s like, permanently wearing her dancing shoes. Let’s see how her week with journaling went!

What did you journal about? How did you journal?

“I always started off the journal with how my day went, and it would usually stem off from something that happened that day. I would start by writing, then I’d spend the last few minutes drawing either how I felt that day or just with shapes and embellishments that would help the page come to life a bit. The drawing part was a good closer to each day’s journal entry.”

What time of the day did you usually journal?

“I usually journaled about an hour before I went to bed. When I’m done with work, I’m either at the gym, watching TV or working on a project, and I liked to clear my head right before I head to bed. My mind is still going hours after the work day and I took these 20 minutes as a cool-down and a time to reflect about the whole day.”

Was it easy to fill the full 20 minutes? Did you?

“I found myself not checking on the timer too often, which was pleasantly surprising. Before I started the first entry, I didn’t think I would make it to 20 minutes every day, but I actually did and it felt like just the right amount of time to sit down, get settled, get in the mode of writing and clear almost everything out of my head.”

Did you feel creative while journaling?

“I didn’t feel creative until the drawing part that happened at the end. The writing portion was just plain writing for me, a way to dump everything from my mind onto paper. I felt creative with some of my drawings at the end because I knew there was no pressure to make it look good, because it was for my eyes only. I feel like projects that I know won’t be critiqued by others are precious; that’s when I feel the most creatively free.”

Did you find yourself thinking in a new or unexpected way?

“Journaling always helps me think in a new way. I made it a point last year to start writing out my thoughts every day before I went to sleep because that was a time when I was going through something stressful — and it was hugely helpful! Writing it out is a good way for me to get all my crazy thoughts out of my jumbled brain. I think when I see something written out, I’m able to take a step back and realize that my fears and thoughts may be exaggerated, so it helps me realize how outlandish I might be at that moment.”

How do you think using pen and paper affected your journaling?

“I actually thought about this the second day of this exercise — like would this be any different than if I were to be typing this on a computer? Maybe that’s something I’ll try in the future. My guess is that writing with a pen and paper is more thoughtful and it takes more time to write something out than to type it out, so you choose your words more wisely. Also, maybe I’d feel less connected to the journal entry if it was typed out. There’s something magical and precious about being connected to something that’s tactile and that you can hold in your hand.”

What was your overall experience with this challenge? Any big takeaways? 

“The overall experience was very positive. I want to remember how good it felt to force myself to sit down for 20 minutes and have a chance every day to reflect on my day.”

Will you continue to journal now that the exercise is over?

“YES, or hoping to at least :)”

What word/phrase comes to mind to sum up this experience? 

“Emotionally releasing.”

The verdict? Journaling helped every participant think creatively and reflect on his or her week. For professional creatives, it served as an outlet for personal creative thinking; for busy-bees, it was a relief to designate a period of time for self-expression. Using paper and pen bolstered the practice — compelling the participants to think visually and focus on the exercise at hand (literally). Four of the five B+C staffers are planning on making journaling a daily practice; how awesome is that? I’d say this challenge was a success!

Want to participate in the #LettersofPeace campaign? Share images of your journals and paper projects with us on Instagram so we can take a look! 

Production + Styling: Maddie Bachelder

Participants: Marianne Koo, Jeff Kneis, Emily Smith, Marisa Kumtong + Cortney Clift

Photography: Brittany Griffin

Lifestyle

Not All Clutter Is Bad for You and Here’s Why

Krista Gray 

If you’ve ever leafed through a copy of one of Marie Kondo’s life-changing books or actually tried the #KonMari method, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ve purged a bunch of stuff. Her crackdown on getting rid of things has become a trendy take on organization. It reinforces the belief that less is more — especially when it comes to a clean home (bedroom organization hacks FTW), closet or Insta-worthy workspace. While we can totally admit that decluttering can feel like a relief, we’d be lying if we said parting with things we’ve collected over the years was easy. That’s why we were so intrigued when we heard about a different perspective, one that says clutter can actually inspire creativity and bring you joy. To learn more, we chatted with Christina Waters, Ph.D., the author of the brand-new book Inside the Flame: The Joy of Treasuring What You Already Have. Read on for six reasons why she always advocates for keeping some clutter around.

1. Clutter stimulates creativity. As Albert Einstein famously asked, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” Christina echoes his sentiments, saying, “An eclectic landscape of paper, pens, plants, old photos, sketches and other items is like a bustling city, filled with cultural richness and sensory stimulation.” She even tells us that keeping stuff around has been proven to help feed your creative potential. “Pages torn from magazines, Post-its filled with poems, colored pens, a postcard from Rome — all of those things stimulate your mind and help keep it limber and flexible,” Christina says.

2. The things you keep reinforce your identity. We bet that if you strip a space of everything you love and have collected, you’ll feel like you’ve stripped it bare of your identity. Christina explains why: “The constellation of objects orbiting our workspace evolves and changes in sync with our desires, interests and lifestyle. This means that your ‘clutter’ actually acts as a mirror in which we can identify and reassure ourselves of who we are and what we like.” Whoa!

3. Familiar things preserve special memories. Think about the handmade jewelry box you picked up in Paris or the pillows you scored at an Egyptian souk, Christina says. “Call it ‘clutter’ if you must, but the critical mass of collected objects and souvenirs reminds us of irreplaceable times in our lives. Sentimental clutter? Maybe, but still packed with powerful emotions.”

4. Clutter forces you to be present. Christina admits, “My stuff, even if it’s as mundane as a stack of business cards or an antique vase, organizes and articulates my space.” She elaborates, “Basically, meaningful odds and ends punctuate a workspace, giving it different dimensions AND layers of meaning.” She tells us that you can read those objects as signposts to our spatial location and that objects in your fave colors can help ground you in the present. “Write a reminder and keep it in view. It will launch an action in real time,” she promises.

5. Your stuff can be a legit conversation starter. “The offbeat objects or unique trinkets that have colonized your life (or desk, walls and shelves) not only add their energy to a visual landscape, but they can also amuse guests and spark awesome conversations,” Christina reminds us. “You’ll get questions like, ‘What’s that little red thing?’ or ‘Where did you find that amazing rug?'” Let the convos and storytelling commence!

6. Clutter is FUN. It’s easy to forget that not every minute of life has to serve a specific purpose. Christina agrees, saying, “Having fun is one of the best ways of knowing that we’re alive, and it’s a much-needed antidote to any regimented, 24/7 work schedule. So, yes, keep that old love letter around, or the silly LED Easter bunny you love out.” These are ways that you can totally defy “adult drudgery” without any consequences at all. She proclaims, “Nobody’s stopping you!”

Does clutter impact your creativity? Tell us about how you work best and what your stuff means to you @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)



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Aftermath of War on Women

Kushiner: Aftermath of War on Women

175x247innocents_poster_finalBy James M. Kushiner - 

At the end of WWII, my father Paul was in southern Germany as a member of the 216th Anti-Aircraft Artillery-Mobile Gun Battalion. When news of Germany's surrender came, he was ushering German soldiers for transport to a prisoner-of-war camp. His unit was invited to visit a liberated Nazi concentration camp nearby. He declined, but some of the men visited the camp. They returned sickened by what they saw. My father never regretted declining that grim opportunity, while surely most of those who visited the camp wished they had.

Many of the men in his unit ended up casualties of war. They shipped out in May 1943 to North Africa and saw action in Sicily, Salerno, the Volturno River, Anzio, Po Valley, St. Tropez, Rhone Valley, Vosges Mountains, Colmar Pocket, the Siegfried Line and on into southern Germany. Those who survived saw in the concentration camps the aftermath of war and the nature of the regime against which they had fought and the others had suffered injuries or lost their lives.

Throughout the war, many sights the soldiers witnessed were not considered sights to be cherished nor spoken of lightly, if at all. While plenty of movies about the war were made during and after the war, it seems that there has been a new generation of war films as the veterans of World War II are slowly disappearing from our company. These films, like Saving Private Ryan, are more realistic in depicting battle, but also more personal, delving deeper into the character of their subjects and their experience of war. I am thinking of such films as The Railway Man, Unbroken, Hacksaw Ridge, and Fury. New war films seem to keep coming: Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk is due out in 2017. Is it because it takes decades for societies to "process" traumatic events and "make sense out of them"? Perhaps more stories will be told, put into books, and made into films. The best do not glorify war or battle but probe deeply into the human capacity for virtue in the midst of the hell that is war.

While many films focus on men, naturally enough, there have been others than deal with the lives of civilians, including women and children, during the period. Sophie Scholl comes to mind. Even Downfall includes the experience and fates of a secretary and wives and children. Modern war goes beyond the battlefield into homes; the Second World War included concentration camps with men, women and children.

But I know of nothing like a recent film about the aftermath of war on women. Directed by Anne Fontaine, the film is set in Poland, where Catholic nuns, raped by Russian soldiers earlier that year, are discovered to be pregnant. The Innocents takes place after the war in December 1945 and mercifully does not depict the atrocity (though it does contain one scene of violent assault, but is PG-13 about it). The Benedictine sisters have to decide "what to do" about this scandalous situation; opinions differ and an unbelieving Frenchwoman Red Cross doctor is enlisted for help.

In our current "Culture Wars" we are told that opposition to abortion is our war against women. The Innocents is an exquisite, powerful film made by women, about women, dealing with an extreme case for abortion: rape. It confirms the heroic nature of the merciful fight for life and reveals these nuns to be soldiers in their own way, enlisted in a cosmic war against darkness and the evil designs of an Enemy who can take credit for both concentration camps and abortion mills.

On the northwest side of Chicago, a relatively new condo-apartment complex has a brand new tenant: an abortion clinic. The thought of living in the same building where abortions are being done is sickening to me. Will any tenants want to move when they find out? Protests are starting. One war may be over, but the fight continues. 



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Thursday, November 24, 2016

The 5 Priorities of Classroom Management

The 5 Priorities of Classroom Management

To effectively manage a classroom, teachers must prioritize building relationships, leveraging time, and designing behavioral standards.

photo of teacher and student at whiteboard
To effectively manage a classroom, teachers must prioritize building relationships, leveraging time, and designing behavioral standards.

For beginning teachers, or for teachers like myself returning to teaching, the most difficult thing to master is classroom management. I had to relearn what ten years of hard instruction had taught me: Good classroom management is more than just being strict or authoritarian, and it is more than simply being organized. If I want to have my classroom run smoothly as a well-oiled learning machine, I have to set up a structured learning environment in which certain behaviors are promoted and others are discouraged. 

I have discovered that there are five components of effective classroom management that establish structures strong enough to entice and motivate student learning:

  1. Developing effective working relationships with students
  2. Training students on how learning takes place in your classroom
  3. Protecting and leveraging time
  4. Anticipating student behaviors in well-written lesson plans
  5. Establishing standards of behavior that promote student learning

1. Develop Effective Working Relationships With Your Students

The most important component of classroom management is relationships. The relationships with my students start at the door when I shake the their hand and greet them with a smile (regardless of what misbehaviors might have happened the day before). Those relationships are strengthened, for example, when I use a student’s name and actively praise him or her. Those relationships are solidified when I spend individual time with each student to get to know them and then use that knowledge to create personal learning opportunities.

From the professional development program, Capturing Kids' Hearts, there was one takeaway that benefited me the most: If I have a good relationship with my students, I can push them harder and further to learn because they trust me.

2. Train Your Students on How Learning Takes Place in Your Classroom

Your students need to know that you do not expect them to instantly learn, that everyone has an individual process for learning, and that if they follow your guidance, they will be successful in learning.

This is more than just talking about your homework policy, late work, and absences. It is revealing to your students how you are going to create -- with them -- a highly effective, low-maintenance, learning team. For example, I discuss with my students that the true power of a strategy such as Cornell Notes is not dividing the paper in two parts. The benefit of that strategy comes from writing the questions on the left side of the paper while reviewing their notes, and then taking the time to summarize what they learned. You have a learning philosophy that guides your teaching style; teach it to your students. Clearly map out for your students what you do to help them learn so that when you do it, they know what you are doing and why, and they will be more willing to help.

3. Protect and Leverage Your Time

An effective classroom manager must be prepared with materials and know how to transition students from one activity to another without wasting time. The number one thing we could do to increase our students' academic performance is to increase the time spent on learning. Time is chipped away by taking attendance, announcements, summons to the office, restroom breaks, pep rally schedules, class meetings, special presentations, awards ceremonies, celebrations, and a myriad of other things. 

Some disruptions and time stealers we cannot avoid, but being successful at managing the classroom also includes managing the time, protecting it, and leveraging it to your best advantage. In Teach Like a Championauthor Doug Lemov effectively demonstrates how to use routines to minimize lost time in activities like handing out papers; he also demonstrates routines to help students train their minds to adopt useful habits and skills, like being able to quickly answer and ask questions.

4. Anticipate Your Students' Behaviors in Well-Written Lesson Plans

Channeling student behaviors, interests, and attention into productive learning paths requires intuitive lesson planning. First, focus on how students will be able to demonstrate that they understand and have achieved the learning objective, emphasizes Grant Wiggins, coauthor with Jason McTighe of Understanding by DesignThen build learning activities that lead students to that point. 

According to Robert Marzano, an education researcher, the focus of our lesson planning efforts should be getting students to ask and answer their own questions. Coming up with those types of questions on the spur of the moment can be difficult, but with a little advanced thought, you can incorporate those types of questions into your lesson plans. Ultimately, the best discipline management plan is a good lesson plan.

5. Establish Behavioral Standards

These standards should promote learning, as well as consequences that diminish or eliminate behaviors that impede learning. They shouldn't be so detailed as to list every behavior and the corresponding consequence for failure to comply, but they should hit the main points regarding showing respect, communicating correctly, and coming prepared to learn. The standards should also interact smoothly with the other four components, especially teaching your students how learning takes place in your classroom.

I have learned to frame each lesson as it is taught. This means that for each learning activity, I explain the standards of performance, as well as the limits of behavior. For example:

You have 15 minutes, and you will be working with your partner on designing a structure out of newspaper that will reach the ceiling. You may use inside voices to quietly discuss your plans with your partner. If you have questions, please put the red cup on your desk, and I will come and help you as soon as possible. Meanwhile, keep working on other things until I get there. 

From Day One

Establishing an effective plan for classroom management has to begin at the start of school, but it doesn’t end there. Throughout the year, we have to be consistent and persistent in developing relationships of trust, following and teaching the best learning theories, honoring student time, being responsive to student behaviors and needs in our lesson plans, and holding true to high and rigorous standards of learning behavior. We also need to be flexible and adjust to tangles that can derail even the best management plans. What classroom management practices have worked best for you?



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Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Lead Me Guide Me

Gospel Lyrics, Black Gospel Lyrics, Christian Lyrics- AllGospelLyrics.com

Unknown - Lead Me Guide Me

 


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Lead Me Guide Me


Verse 1:
I AM WEAK AND I NEED THY STRENGTH AND POWER
TO HELP ME O-VER MY WEAKEST HOUR
LEAD ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS THY FACE TO SEE
LEAD ME OH LORD LEAD ME

CHORUS 
LEAD ME, GUIDE ME, ALONG THE WAY
FOR IF YOU LEAD ME I CANNOT NOT STRAY
LORD LET ME WALK, EACH DAY WITH THEE
LEAD ME OH LORD LEAD ME

Chorus
Lead me, guide me along the way,
For if you lead me I cannot stray.
Lord let me walk each day with Thee.
Lead me, oh Lord lead me. 

VERSE 2:
Help me tread in the paths of righteousness.
Be my aid when Satan and sin oppress.
I am putting all my trust in Thee:
Lead me, oh Lord lead me. 

Chorus
Lead me, guide me along the way,
For if you lead me I cannot stray.
Lord let me walk each day with Thee.
Lead me, oh Lord lead me. 
I am lost if you take your hand from me,
I am blind without Thy light to see.
Lord just always to me thy servant be,
Lead me, oh Lord lead me. 

Chorus
Lead me, guide me along the way,
For if you lead me I cannot stray.
Lord let me walk each day with Thee.
Lead me, oh Lord lead me. 

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Sunday, November 13, 2016

The 2016 Ms. Senior America Pageant: Meet the Contestants

The 2016 Ms. Senior America Pageant: Meet the Contestants  http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/inspirational-stories/g3974/2016-national-ms-senior-america-pageant-contestants/ via @goodhousemag

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Simplifying Childhood May Protect Against Mental Health Issues

Simplifying Childhood May Protect Against Mental Health Issues

When my Dad was growing up he had one jumper each winter. One. Total.

He remembers how vigilantly he cared for his jumper. If the elbows got holes in them my Grandma patched them back together. If he lost his jumper he’d recount his steps to find it again. He guarded it like the precious gift it was.

He had everything he needed and not a lot more. The only rule was to be home by dinner time. My Grandma rarely knew exactly where her kids were.

They were off building forts, making bows and arrows, collecting bruises and bloody knees and having the time of their lives. They were immersed in childhood.

But the world has moved on since then. We’ve become more sophisticated. And entered a unique period in which, rather than struggling to provide enough parents are unable to resist providing too much. In doing so, we’re unknowingly creating an environment in which mental health issues flourish.

When I read Kim John Payne’s book, Simplicity Parenting one message leapt off the page. Normal personality quirks combined with the stress of “too much” can propel children into the realm of disorder. A child who is systematic may be pushed into obsessive behaviours. A dreamy child may lose the ability to focus.

Payne conducted a study in which he simplified the lives of children with attention deficit disorder. Within four short months 68% went from being clinically dysfunctional to clinically functional. The children also displayed a 37% increase in academic and cognitive aptitude, an effect not seen with commonly prescribed drugs like Ritalin.

As a new parent I find this both empowering and terrifying. We officially have a massive opportunity and responsibility to provide an environment in which our children can thrive physically, emotionally and mentally.

So, what are we getting wrong and how can we fix it?

THE BURDEN OF TOO MUCH

Early in his career, Payne volunteered in refugee camps in Jakarta, where children were dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder. He describes them as, “jumpy, nervous, and hyper-vigilant, wary of anything novel or new.”

Years later Payne ran a private practice in England, where he recognized many affluent English children were displaying the same behavioural tendencies as the children living in war zones half a world away. Why would these children living perfectly safe lives show similar symptoms?

Payne explains that although they were physically safe, mentally they were also living in a war zone of sorts, “Privy to their parents’ fears, drives, ambitions, and the very fast pace of their lives, the children were busy trying to construct their own boundaries, their own level of safety in behaviours that weren’t ultimately helpful.”

Suffering with a “cumulative stress reaction” as a result of the snowballing effect of too much, children develop their own coping strategies to feel safe. Parents and society are conscious of the need to protect our children physically.

We legislate car seats, bike helmets and hover in playgrounds. But protecting mental health is more obscure.

But, sadly, we are messing up. Modern day children are exposed to a constant flood of information which they can’t process or rationalise. They’re growing up faster as we put them into adult roles and increase our expectations of them. So, they look for other aspects of their life they can control.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF EXCESS

Naturally as parents we want to provide our kids with the best start in life. If a little is good, we think more is better, or is it?

We enrol them in endless activities. Soccer. Music. Martial arts. Gymnastics. Ballet. We schedule play dates with precision. And we fill every space in their rooms with educational books, devices and toys. The average western child has in excess of 150 toys each and receives an additional 70 toys per year. With so much stuff children become blinded and overwhelmed with choice.

They play superficially rather than becoming immersed deeply and lost in their wild imaginations.

Simplicity Parenting encourages parents to keep fewer toys so children can engage more deeply with the ones they have. Payne describes the four pillars of excess as having too much stuff, too many choices, too much information and too much speed.

When children are overwhelmed they lose the precious down time they need to explore, play and release tension. Too many choices erodes happiness, robbing kids of the gift of boredom which encourages creativity and self-directed learning. And most importantly “too much” steals precious time.

PROTECTING CHILDHOOD

Similar to the anecdote of the heat slowly being turned up and boiling the unsuspecting frog, so too has society slowly chipped away at the unique wonder of childhood, redefining it and leaving our kid’s immature brains drowning trying to keep up. Many refer to this as a “war on childhood”.

Developmental Psychologist David Elkind reports kids have lost more than 12 hours of free time per week in the last two decades meaning the opportunity for free play is scarce. Even preschools and kindergartens have become more intellectually-oriented. And many schools have eliminated recess so children have more time to learn.

The time children spend playing in organized sports has been shown to significantly lower creativity as young adults, whereas time spent playing informal sports was significantly related to more creativity. It’s not the organized sports themselves that destroy creativity but the lack of down time. Even two hours per week of unstructured play boosted children’s creativity to above-average levels.

PARENTS TAKE CHARGE

So, how do we as parents protect our kids in this new “normal” society has created?

Simple, we say no. We protect our kids and say no, so we can create space for them to be kids. No, Sam can’t make the birthday party on Saturday. No, Sophie can’t make soccer practice this week.

And we recreate regular down time providing a sense of calm and solace in their otherwise chaotic worlds. It provides a release of tension children know they can rely on and allows children to recover and grow, serving a vital purpose in child development.

We filter unnecessary busyness and simplify their lives. We don’t talk about global warming at the dinner table with a seven year old. We watch the news after our kids are asleep. We remove excessive toys and games from our toddler’s room when they’re sleeping. We recreate and honour childhood. Our children have their whole lives to be adults and to deal with the complexities of life, but only a fleetingly short time in which they can be kids. Silly, fun loving kids.

Childhood serves a very real purpose. It’s not something to “get through”. It’s there to protect and develop young minds so they can grow into healthy and happy adults. When society messes too much with childhood, young brains react. By providing a sense of balance and actively protecting childhood we’re giving our children the greatest gift they’ll ever receive.

If you enjoyed this post you’ll love the eBook I’m currently writing, Simplifying Childhood: How Embracing the Simple Life Helps Nurture the Emotional Development of Your ChildClick here to learn more about it or sign up to be notified when it is available.



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