Monday, January 26, 2015

10 Tips From The Most Organized Woman On The Internet

10 Tips From The Most Organized Woman On The Internet

When we get caught in an organizing conundrum, we often find ourselves asking "What would Jen Jones do?"

Jen is the creator of the super-helpful blog I Heart Organizing, and has given her readers an excellent education in smart storage and pretty home design. We asked her for her best get-it-done decluttering secrets, so you could recreate her organizing philosophy in your home.

1. Write down your intentions before you organize a space.
Especially when you're tackling an entire room, you need a clear vision before you begin tossing and sorting. If you don't have one, your goals will get muddled midway through the project.

"I like to begin by writing down what my hang ups are about a space, and what problems I'd like to solve," Jen says. "I aim for three keys points I know I want to touch on, otherwise it's easy to get lost in the process." 

By touching on your intentions at every point of indecision (Should I toss this old sweater? Should I put my calendar on this wall?), you can create a space that works well for you, and doesn't try to accomplish too much. 


2. Don't cling to a system that doesn't work.
For a while, Jen's white whale was an organized entryway. She tried shoe shelves in a hall closet, but it was too far from the door. Then she tried shoe baskets in the foyer, but they kept getting in the way. Instead of forcing a broken system on her family, Jen kept looking for another solution. Eventually, she found the perfect narrow shoe cabinet (from IKEA), which minimizes clutter and doesn't require her kids to carry their shoes down the hall.

Which brings Jen to her next point … 

3. A system with too many steps won't work.
"It took me a long time to figure this out, but if your process is too complex, it will fail," says Jen. So avoid the urge to place stuff in dividers, which are in boxes that are hidden in drawers that are all the way in the basement … you see our point.

4. Sometimes you need a better process, not another storage bin.
"I could have a laundry room system that involves several sorting baskets, but they'd take up so much space," says Jones. Instead, she's worked out a daily laundry routine that minimizes big loads and takes a forgiving "good enough" attitude toward endless sorting. 

5. Organizing isn't expensive — clutter is.
"I hear all the time from people that they think organizing is too pricey," Jen says. "But really, the act of organizing is free (old shoeboxes are often my favorite for storage), and you can even make money doing it. Are you spending cash on a storage space to keep things you never look at? Or is your cluttered system costing you valuable time everyday? Think about it, and you might be surprised."

6. In a small space, go vertical.
"Bookcases are my favorite pieces of furniture for organizing," Jen says. We agree — their height offers up a ton of storage where there was once just a blank wall, and wide shelves are helpful for holding everything from clothes to bins to, well, books. 


7. Don't forget about the backs of doors.
"Backs of cabinets and doors are a great place to get creative," says Jen. Add a hook or a basket to gain instant (and often hidden!) storage space. 


8. Clear out an entire space before you do a big organizing overhaul.
"I always start with a blank slate," Jen says. "It just feels better to start fresh, and it forces you to be very selective about what gets put back into the room or drawer."

9. Make your bins and boxes look pretty.
"I cover boxes with contact paper in pretty patterns for a few reasons," says Jen. "First, decorative element acts as extra motivation for staying organized. And I also want my home to have a cohesive, lived-in feel. I want everything to make me happy."

10. Tackle problems that influence your daily life first.
"Our cluttered storage room is a thorn in my side, but because it doesn't really affect my everyday routine, I chose to organize other spaces first," Jen says. "Think about what's eating up most of your energy, and focus on finding those solutions."

TELL US: What's your sneaky organizing trick?


NEXT: 17 Craft Projects to Help Organization »


Photos: Courtesy of Jen Jones/I Heart Organizing


This story originally appeared on GoodHousekeeping.com


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Saturday, January 10, 2015

Susanna Wesley Mother of Methodism

History's Women

Susanna Wesley
Mother of Methodism

By Anne Adams

As a wife and mother in a small 18th century English parish Susanna Wesley herself received little recognition for how she managed her household, raised and educated more                                            than a dozen children and coped with a sometimes impecunious, idealistic and occasionally difficult clergyman husband. Yet from her personal influence and loving home came a son who would experience a spiritual awakening and use that inspiration to begin a ministry that would fill a void in the national spiritual life and also develop into a world wide church. Indeed, it might be said that the movement called Methodism had its foundations in the home of Susanna Wesley.

Born on January 20, 1669, as the daughter of a London pastor and the youngest of 25 children, Susanna Annesley was quite familiar with both a clergyman’s household and large families.

Seven years before Susanna was born the Church of England asserted its supremacy over the other English Protestant “Non-Conformist” or “Dissenting” churches. With the 1662 Act of Uniformity, all Church of England ministers were required to support the Book of Common Prayer or be forced out of their parishes and banned from preaching in an Anglican pulpit. When some 2000 refused they were forced from their parishes, homes                                            and university positions leaving many to make a living by teaching, writing or preaching where they could.

Susanna was educated at home, with her lessons supplemented by the intellectual atmosphere of her father’s many scholarly visitors. One of these was the son of a Dissenting minister, Samuel Wesley, then a student.

Born in 1662, Samuel had come from a background of poverty since his Dissenting father had been deprived of his parish. However, after much thought Samuel decided to affiliated with the Church of England and because of that decision he was able to attend Oxford University where he lived on an extremely limited budget with little luxury.

Samuel Wesley was ordained in 1689 and he and Susanna, who had also decided to affiliate with the Anglican Church, were married soon after when she was 20 and he was 28.

As a new clergyman Samuel would encounter a national spiritual apathy for English religious devotion was at an all time low. Many had developed a belief in Deism, seeing God as a withdrawn and disinterested Creator and devotion to God had been replaced by cold logic and church services had become dull and dry. Following his ordination and marriage, Samuel served other parishes before 1696 when he came to Epworth in the North Lincolnshire area, the church he would serve most of his life. Also during this time Susanna had had seven children in those seven years, three of who died.

The Epworth area was primarily rural in economy and in mindset, and for Samuel as a city minded scholar it proved difficult. He was a rigid and moralistic pastor and some parishioners responded with occasional hostility. Samuel also lacked business sense so it was left up to Susanna to manage the household and business expenses – and all with no word of criticism for Samuel.

More children were born in the next few years, but many did not survive. For Susanna, “churching” – the Prayer Book’s “Service of Thanksgiving Following Childbirth” – was an annual occasion. Ten of Susanna’s eventual nineteen children lived to maturity, making for a large family to raise and educate while she carried out all her other household responsibilities. Yet Susanna accomplished it well and often with only just servant.

One scholar described the Wesley children as “a cluster of bright, vehement, argumentative boys and girls, living by a clean and high code, and on the plainest fare; but drilled to soft tones, to pretty formal courtesies; with learning as an ideal, duty as an atmosphere and fear of God as law.”

However, Samuel and Susanna were both strong characters each with definite opinions and while they were devoted to each other there were occasions when they had marital difficulties. For example, one time royal politics entered their home life and caused a separation.

Susanna was a strong supporter of the Stuart King James who had been                                            overthrown in 1688 and replaced by William, his Dutch son-in-law. In 1702 when in family prayers Samuel prayed for King William Susanna refused to say “Amen.” She was, as her son John described it later, “inflexible”, and Samuel was equally so.

“Sukey,” he told her as he left home. “We must part for if we have two kings we must have two beds.” Susanna asserted that she would apologize if she was wrong but she felt to do so for expediency only would be a lie and thus a sin. Eventually after five months and the death of King William Samuel returned home and from their reconciliation was born John in 1703.

The Wesleys had many challenges over the years, again occasionally caused by some parishioners’ opposition to Samuel as pastor. At times some locals would demonstrate their displeasure by mocking the children, burning the family crops, damaging the rectory and abusing the family cows and dog. Then in 1705 when they disagreed with Samuel’s political choices a group of villagers harangued the parsonage all night in Samuel’s absence – shouting, drumming and firing guns and with Susanna just recovering from the birth of her sixteenth child. Unfortunately, the baby’s nurse was so exhausted after all the commotion she lapsed into a deep sleep and rolled over on the baby smothering it.

Another time a parishioner demanded immediate payment of a debt that Samuel could not pay so he had the pastor imprisoned. At home Susanna struggled to manage on a reduced budget while Samuel became self-appointed pastor to his fellow prisoners. The church eventually paid the debt and Samuel returned home.

Then in 1709 there occurred another tragedy that affected the family but                                            also endangered John – then a small boy. On February 9, 1709 the Epworth rectory caught on fire and though John later considered it set by vindictive neighbors it could well have been accidental. With their home in flames the family scrambled to safety including Susanna who was expecting what would be her last child. However,                                            when the family assembled they were missing one – six year old John. Then after they spotted him standing in a window, a neighbor lifted another man to his shoulders so the second man could snatch little John to safety just seconds before the roof fell in. John saw his deliverance as God’s work                                            and for many years referred to himself as a literal “brand snatched from the burning.”

Yet though the family was safe they realized the fire had destroyed not just the house but also all the contents including family papers and Samuel’s library. The rectory was rebuilt but while it was under construction the family was separated by staying with various relatives.

To manage such a large household and properly educate her children Susanna established a definite routine for her household and family, aiming to help each child learn, mature and develop Christian character. At a time when severe physical punishment was a standard part of education Susanna’s policy was “strength guided by kindness.” She gave each child individual attention by purposely setting aside a regular time for each of them. Later John wrote his mother fondly remembering his special time with her.

In 1711 Samuel’s absence and Susanna’s attempts to meet the spiritual needs of her family caused another family difficulty. Samuel was attending a long church conference leaving his pulpit in charge of another minister, a Mr. Inman. However, the man proved a poor choice since his almost constant sermon topic was paying one’s debts when he owed                                            many. Some saw this as a slap at Samuel.

Since there were no afternoon church services, Susanna began an evening family gathering where they sang psalms, prayed and Susanna read a short sermon from her husband’s library. It began with the family and the servants but soon word spread and others neighbors appeared, and soon there were too many for the parsonage. Susanna had written her husband of what she was doing, but then in his own letter when he perhaps saw the services as competition, Mr. Inman complained to Samuel. His claim to Samuel was that such irregular services could cause criticism or even scandal for the church. For while women have been ordained in many Methodist churches for more than 50 years at that time the idea of a woman having any part in a worship service – even in her own home – was unheard of. Samuel suggested to Susanna that she have someone else read the sermons, but still Mr. Inman complained and finally Samuel told Susanna to discontinue the meetings. However, she declined as she described how the meetings were a genuine and effective ministry to those who attended and that Mr. Inman was about the only one who‘d objected. The services continued.

As his health slowly failed, Samuel continued to work on his life long project – a book called “Dissertations on the Book of Job.” Though Samuel hoped its publication would assure his family’s financial security it did not prove so. Written in Latin, the ponderous and scholarly account did not appeal to the average reader. Samuel could possibly have been more successful by writing shorter and more popular pieces, but he preferred to                                            devote his talents to what he considered a high level of scholarship.

After Samuel passed away on April 5, 1735 when John had paid his debts Susanna had very little. For the rest of her life she would depend on her children.

Soon after with Susanna settled in a daughter’s home, John and Charles Wesley joined a group of colonists settling in Georgia. For some time they had been searching for spiritual fulfillment and through various experiences in America and after their return to England they finally found the peace and assurance they sought. Their conversion not only fulfilled them spiritually but also inspired them to begin the preaching and outreach that would be a part of their new ministry, dubbed Methodism after a                                            “methodical” religious routine John had developed while at Oxford. In 1740 John moved Susanna into the center of this new ministry in London, a former cannon factory known as the Foundery. The large building held chapels, a school, a clinic, and living quarters for John and other workers. Susanna would spend her final days among loving people involved in a new ministry and with her other children                                            nearby. Then as the end neared and with her family around her, she instructed them: “Children, as soon as I am released sing a psalm of praise to God.” She passed away July 23, 1742.

Susanna’s place in Christian history is indeed based on what her sons accomplished but it could be said to have been her example and influence that helped them to do what they did. Susanna’s best legacy was indeed her children, particularly John. For it was in the Epworth parsonage that he acquired the focused leadership that would empower and inspire the man who “represents the force which has most profoundly affected English history,” as one scholar put it, referring to the 18th century.

Indeed, a great legacy from a woman who expressed a simple desire: “I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified.” A quote that has power, instead of a television doctor who calls a new diet pill the "Holy Grail of weight loss" driving mad skepticism. It led to sites like http://garciniasideeffect.com helping the public understand complicated information.

Currently on the staff of St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Houston, Anne is a freelance writer/teacher. She has published devotionals, fiction and non-fiction, and her book “Brittany, Child of Joy” was issued from Broadman Press in 1985. She holds two degrees in history and has taught on the junior college level.




Friday, January 9, 2015

How To Deal With The Daily Deluge Of Emails (And Get The 'Real' Work Done)

How To Deal With The Daily Deluge Of Emails (And Get The 'Real' Work Done)

Let me paint a picture for you. Your day is chock full of meetings, between which you frantically try to catch up on emails and respond to everyone’s requests. Your tight schedule forces you to get back online at night to finish work after you’ve had dinner or put your kids to bed.​

This leaves you feeling exhausted and as though you’ve never done enough at the end of each day. You can’t seem to get any “real” work done during the day. Does this sound familiar?

Here are five tips and some sample templates to help you efficiently deal with the daily deluge of emails and get the real work done.

1.  No Email In The Morning

DO NOT check email the first hour of the day. If you want to be really productive, do not check email for the first three hours of the day. As you practice this act of self-discipline, you will be astounded at how much more productive you are.

One successful entrepreneur told me the best advice he ever received was  “Don’t read your email until three hours into your day, otherwise you’ll do email for the first three hours of the day.”

The most successful people don’t check email first thing in the morning.

Research shows if you’re trying to form a new habit, it’s easier to replace one habit with another rather than going cold turkey . So, instead of checking email first thing in the morning, I recommend starting your day with a short, 5 minute guided meditation to clear your mind before you tackle your most important project.

2.  Set boundaries – and stick to them!

It’s really hard to turn off work for entrepreneurs. The solution is to use discipline and set rules for oneself. One CEO I interviewed shared “I set rules for myself like I’m not going to stay past a certain time, I’m going to leave my computer at work. I set a schedule for what hours I’m supposed to be here. Every Thursday I come in at 11am so I can stay home and have breakfast with my wife and son and then I stay late that night, I just shift my schedule. Setting a schedule is important.  It’s also important to separate the urgent from the important. There is always stuff to get done.”

If you have a hard time setting boundaries, get clear on your values.

3.  Prioritize Ruthlessly.

Each evening before you go to bed, ask yourself “What are the three most important things I need to do tomorrow to move my career and company forward?” Write these down. The next morning, instead of checking email, work on these three things first.

Throughout your day and week, take a few moments to step back and ask yourself; “Am I focusing on the most high impact project right now? Is this a top priority?”

Many entrepreneurs I speak with have difficulty prioritizing because there is so much uncertainty. They have a hard time choosing which three things to focus on in a given day. It’s normal to feel uncertain, simply pick your top three priorities and complete them that day.

Part of the game is making a commitment and moving forward even if you aren’t sure if it’s the “right” step. As long as you’re taking action on what you believe at the time to be a top priority, you will move your business forward. You may learn that the priorities need to change, but the only way to truly determine this is to start taking action today.

4.  Just Say No.

To reclaim your time and get the real work done, you need to be ruthless with your choices . If someone requests your presence at a meeting, ask yourself if it’s really necessary before committing. Don’t be afraid to say no. In the end, you will be more productive even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Saying no takes practice. Try it out with a simple situation first. You may not do it as gracefully or confidently as you would like in the beginning, but you will get better with practice. First Round Partner Bill Trenchard suggests having a ‘No template’ such as this one:

Hi Bill,
Great to hear from you. I hope all is well. Fortunately, my company is starting to take off, and I’m under extreme pressure to deliver against some ambitious goals. I go to a lot of social events, but unfortunately I won’t be able to connect right now.

Best,
 Josh

5.  Bulk Task.

Take certain mundane tasks such as paying bills, responding to email, and filling out forms, and bulk task them. Rather than constantly distracting yourself in small increments of time, set aside a chunk of time to complete all these small tasks at once.

It can help to set specific times of day during which you will be checking and responding to emails. For example, check email at 10am and 4pm and spend thirty to sixty minutes responding to emails at each of those times. For the rest of the day, do not check email. If you’re afraid of missing something urgent, you can give people the option to reach out to someone else or call you directly by sending an auto-responder such as this one, provided by Tim Ferriss:

Sample Autoresponder:

Due to high workload, I am currently checking and responding to email twice daily at 10am and 4pm EST [insert your time zone].

If you require urgent assistance that cannot wait until either 10am or 4pm, please contact me via phone at 555-555-5555.

Thank you for understanding this move to more efficiency and effectiveness. It helps me accomplish more to serve you better.

Yours Sincerely,
xxx

I actually used this very email template myself, inserting a line at the beginning that said “I’m doing a productivity experiment for one month…” because I was too nervous to have it sound permanent. The results were amazing! I got so much more work done, and best of all, many people responded saying that they respected what I was doing and were inspired by the idea.

Try these five techniques out for yourself and let me know in the comments below what you think.




Monday, January 5, 2015

21 Lost Lady Traditions That Still Apply Today

21 Lost Lady Traditions That Still Apply Today

image

Acting like a lady is carrying yourself with dignity, which also empowers a man to be a gentleman.

Many of us want a true gentleman, but I believe we hold the power to the way we are treated in our hands. It’s the law of attraction and common sense: If we want a gentleman, we must be and act like a lady.

In all areas of life, I believe being a lady displays self-respect, class, appreciation and etiquette. It also allows you to enjoy the niceties of life with the ease of knowing how to act in all situations. You don’t have to come from wealth or be wealthy in order to conduct yourself like royalty.

After doing some new research and also recalling my southern roots which included cotillion and etiquette classes, here are 21 lost lady like traditions that still apply today:

Manners:

1. If a man knows that it is etiquette to remain standing until you are seated, be sure to sit promptly as to not leave him standing too long.

2. No rude or shocking language, especially at the table. Your langauge is a representation of your mind and heart.

3. Don’t talk with your mouth full. I don’t need to explain this one.

4. She dresses tastefully: A lady dresses appropriately for the occasion.

5. Phone calls: When in doubt, a good rule of thumb is not to make phone calls before 9 am or after 9 pm.

6. She is gracious: She never just says, “hello” when being introduced to someone. She offers a kind greeting like, “it’s a pleasure to meet you” or “how are you this evening?”

7. She turns her phone on silent and puts it away for meals, meetings and church.

8. She says, “yes, please” or “no, thank you.” She does not say, “yep” or “nope.”

9. She gives compliments with sincerity and only when she means it. She does not say things just to say them. Insincerity is easier to read than we think.

10. A lady offers to help someone in need. Being a lady starts with how you treat yourself and others. She offers her seat to the elderly, disabled or a parent with small children.

11. She RSVPs promptly, reads an invitation thoroughly and does not ask for exceptions. She always promptly sends a detailed thank you note to anyone who has shown her hospitality.

12. She never arrives empty handed. Bringing a small hostess gift shows your appreciation for the preparation your host has done.

13. Her word is her bond. A lady warrants a respectable reputation purely by the consistency of her word. She always keeps her promises.

The Dating Lady:

14. Don’t call him, he’ll call you. A lady knows that she deserves to be pursued and does not do it or him. If you are in the position that you have to initiate contact in order to communicate, then you should know that you are not dealing with a gentleman and can move on.

15. Time frame: no one gets to call you on a whim to hang out. Your time is precious and valuable and you are clearly booked days in advance. Someone who honors your time will plan ahead and ask to take you out with at least a 48 hour request.

16. You don’t meet a guy anywhere. He comes and picks you up, especially on the first date. It can be inconvenient, but is it your job to make dating you convenient? No. The last thing you want to be is convenient. However if  you are meeting someone in person for the first time, meeting in a neutral location is a smart, safe move. Always honor your intuition.

17. Curfew: Mama always said nothing good happens past 10 o’ clock and she’s pretty much right. So set the time you need to be home in advance and let your gentleman know about it ahead of time.

18. Appreciation: Being a lady and acting lady-like does not mean that you are entitled or snobby. Practice having a heart of gratitude and always say thank you for specific actions or generosities.

19. How to order: Have respect for your gentleman and do not behave with entitlement by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If he wants to treat you to a fine bottle of wine, he can order it or offer for you to make a selection.

20. Be a good listener and conversationalist. Put your phone away and be present. A lady is not boring, rude or dismissive.

21. Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on GoodGuySwag.com says,

“An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman always picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.”

Ultimately, etiquette is the natural byproduct that flows through a lady’s character. These traditions are mostly common- sense that simply allow you and others to enjoy life more.

Make 2015 your year to rise up, princess.

If this article intrigued you, please share to inspire others.

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10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry

10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry
Men and women 
Don't be impatient when choosing a helpmate. God has the right one for you. (iStock)

My wife and I raised four daughters—without shotguns in the house!—and three of them have already married. We love our sons-in-law, and it’s obvious God handpicked each of them to match our daughters’ temperaments and personality.

I have always believed God is in the matchmaking business. If He can do it for my daughters, He can do it for you.

Today I have several single female friends who would very much like to find the right guy. Some tell me the pickings are slim at their church, so they have ventured into the world of online dating. Others have thrown up their hands in despair, wondering if there are any decent Christian guys left anywhere. They’ve begun to wonder if they should lower their standards in order to find a mate.

My advice stands: Don't settle for less than God's best. Too many Christian women today have ended up with an Ishmael because impatience pushed them into an unhappy marriage. Please take my fatherly advice: You are much better off single than with the wrong guy!

Speaking of “wrong guys,” here are the top 10 men you should avoid when looking for a husband:

1. The unbeliever. Please write 2 Corinthians 6:14 on a Post-it note and tack it on your computer at work. It says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (NASB). This is not an outdated religious rule. It is the Word of God for you today.

Don’t allow a man’s charm, looks or financial success (or his willingness to go to church with you) push you to compromise what you know is right. “Missionary dating” is never a wise strategy. If the guy is not a born-again Christian, scratch him off your list. He’s not right for you. I’ve yet to meet a Christian woman who didn’t regret marrying an unbeliever.

2. The liar. If you discover that the man you are dating has lied to you about his past or that he’s always covering his tracks to hide his secrets from you, run for the nearest exit. Marriage must be built on a foundation of trust. If he can’t be truthful, break up now before he bamboozles you with an even bigger deception.

3. The playboy. I wish I could say that if you meet a nice guy at church, you can assume he’s living in sexual purity. But that’s not the case today. I’ve heard horror stories about single guys who serve on the worship team on Sunday but act like Casanovas during the week. If you marry a guy who was sleeping around before your wedding, you can be sure he will be sleeping around after your wedding.

4. The deadbeat. There are many solid Christian men who experienced marital failure years ago. Since their divorce, they have experienced the Holy Spirit’s restoration, and now they want to remarry. Second marriages can be very happy. But if you find out that the man you are dating hasn’t been caring for his children from a previous marriage, you have just exposed a fatal flaw. Any man who will not pay for his past mistakes or support children from a previous marriage is not going to treat you responsibly.

5. The addict. Churchgoing men who have addictions to alcohol or drugs have learned to hide their problems—but you don’t want to wait until your honeymoon to find out that he’s a boozer. Never marry a man who refuses to get help for his addiction. Insist that he get professional help and walk away. And don’t get into a codependent relationship in which he claims he needs you to stay sober. You can’t fix him.

6. The bum. I have a female friend who realized after she married her boyfriend that he had no plans to find steady work. He had devised a great strategy: He stayed home all day and played video games while his professional wife worked and paid all the bills. The apostle Paul told the Thessalonians, “If anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either” (2 Thess. 3:10). The same rule applies here: If a man is not willing to work, he doesn’t deserve to marry you.

7. The narcissist. I sincerely hope you can find a guy who is handsome. But be careful: If your boyfriend spends six hours a day at the gym and regularly posts closeups of his biceps on Facebook, you have a problem. Do not fall for a self-absorbed guy. He might be cute, but a man who is infatuated with his appearance and his own needs will never be able to love you sacrificially, like Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). The man who is always looking at himself in the mirror will never notice you.

8. The abuser. Men with abusive tendencies can’t control their anger when it boils over. If the guy you are dating has a tendency to fly off the handle, either at you or others, don’t be tempted to rationalize his behavior. He has a problem, and if you marry him you will have to navigate his minefield every day to avoid triggering another outburst. Angry men hurt women—verbally and sometimes physically. Find a man who is gentle.

9. The man-child. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m suspicious of a guy who still lives with his parents at age 35. If his mother is still doing his cooking, cleaning and ironing at that age, you can be sure he’s stuck in an emotional time warp. You are asking for trouble if you think you can be a wife to a guy who hasn’t grown up. Back away and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor who can help him mature.

10. The control freak. Some Christian guys today believe marriage is about male superiority. They may quote Scripture and sound super-spiritual, but behind the façade of husbandly authority is deep insecurity and pride that can morph into spiritual abuse. First Peter 3:7 commands husbands to treat their wives as equals. If the man you are dating talks down to you, makes demeaning comments about women or seems to squelch your spiritual gifts, back away now. He is on a power trip. Women who marry religious control freaks often end up in a nightmare of depression.

If you are a woman of God, don’t sell your spiritual birthright by marrying a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Your smartest decision in life is to wait for a man who is sold out to Jesus.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project (themordecaiproject.org). You can follow him on Twitter at @leegrady. He is the author of 10 Lies Men Believe and other books.


IT'S ALL ABOUT THE NAIL

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Saturday, January 3, 2015

De-Clutter Your Home in 91 Days! A Challenge starting next week!

De-Clutter Your Home in 91 Days! A Challenge starting next week!

In January I had a baby, after a very difficult pregnancy. During all this time, things started to build-up. I’ve not been getting rid of clutter at the rate I used to and I need a fresh start without extra junk clouding my daily vision. There is so much I want to do in my life, for my family, for myself, but it is hard to just stay caught up right now.

I know with less stuff in the house, it will be easier to keep it clean and I will get to move on.

Do you feel stuck at your house? Is clutter causing you any stress? How free would you feel to have a clean and organized house right now? What would you do next?!

Let’s get rid of the clutter together! Join my challenge and I will guide you through the process. Most of the discussion will happen in our closed Facebook group: Get Organized Today. (<—- click to join!)

DECLUTTER your home in 91 days - The Challenge

Throughout this process, I will be sharing pictures of my home. I’ve shown you lots of places in my home that I have decorated, but there is lots more space here that I have NOT decorated or shown. I’m okay with it, because that is my real life, just want to prepare your expectations. :)

Here is the game plan for the next 13 weeks or 91 days! Each week I will post about the challenge on Sunday night, giving suggestions, and guidance. Sometime during the following week I will give an update on my own progress. I’ll be working right along with you!

Be sure to join our Facebook group for support during the whole process!

De-Clutter your home in 91 days with this plan

Be sure to take pictures as you go! On the last week, I will host a link-up party for anyone that participates. This link-up party will be open for blogs, and Pinterest accounts (for non-bloggers) and will have a voting function for prizes! (More info to come on prizes so stay tuned!)

What do you think of that? De-cluttering with guidance, support, and prizes for finishing.

Who is ready to re-claim their homes in 91 days?

Me! Me! Me!!!

Better sleep now so I have the energy to de-clutter,

Subscribe to receive future posts right in your email (up on the sidebar) so you never miss a thing! And if you could, please like my Facebook page here, or get in on the organizing discussion in my Facebook Organizing Group here.




Science Shows How People With Messy Desks Are Actually Different Than Everyone Else

Science Shows How People With Messy Desks Are Actually Different Than Everyone Else

Are you too messy? Instead of a filing cabinet, do you have piles of folders bursting to the seams? Is your Rolodex covered with doodles, while your drawers are full of loose business cards? Do memos arrive at your desk only to be tossed in an overstuffed trash can or linger in eternity amid a heap of their forgotten brethren?

We're trained to think that messiness is evil and unproductive. But there might be a method to all that madness.

It turns out science can explain. There's fairly robust psychological evidence that messiness isn't just symptomatic of poor standards or effort, but might actually provoke creativity.

That's the hypothesisis that, as psychologist Kathleen Vohs writes in the New York Times, "being around messiness would lead people away from convention, in favor of new directions." To test this hypothesis, Vohs invited 188 adults to rooms that were either tidy or "messy, with papers and books strewn around haphazardly." 

Each adult was then presented with one of two menus from a deli that served fruit smoothies, with half of the subjects seeing a menu with one item billed as "classic" and another billed as "new." The results (published in Psychological Science), Vohs reports, were enlightening:

As predicted, when the subjects were in the tidy room they chose the health boost more often — almost twice as often — when it had the "classic" label: that is, when it was associated with convention. Also as predicted, when the subjects were in the messy room, they chose the health boost more often — more than twice as often — when it was said to be "new": that is, when it was associated with novelty. Thus, people greatly preferred convention in the tidy room and novelty in the messy room.

A second experiment with 48 adults found that subjects in a messy environment came up with ideas "28% more creative" while creating a list of unconventional uses for ping pong balls, even though the two groups came up with the same number of ideas. Vohs argues the results are clear: Messiness actually spurs creativity.

Source: Getty Images

Columbia Business School professor Eric Abrahamson notes that the debate on messiness can overlook the crucial fact that order has opportunity costs, like forcing employees to devote valuable time to maintaining an orderly environment that could otherwise be spent on projects. He argues:

Creativity is spurred when things that we tend not to organize in the same category come together. When you allow some messiness into a system, new combinations can result. If you keep all your tools in the tool shed and all your kitchen utensils in the kitchen, you might never think of using a kitchen utensil as a tool or vice-versa.

Of course, messiness doesn't necessarily refer to how many coffee cups on your desk need to be thrown out. Abrahamson adds that "the best studies on strategic planning indicate that firms with elaborate strategic planning systems do no better than firms that don't have them," possibly because an emphasis on order can reduce the flexibility of some companies.

On the micro level, in 2007 Abrahamson and fellow researcher David H. Freedman wrote that a messy desk could actually be a "highly effective prioritizing and accessing system" that quickly sorts items according to their importance. Piles of clutter that amass on unkempt desks may just be repositories for "safely ignorable stuff." In other words, if it looks like trash, perhaps that's because it wasn't important enough to waste time filing.

On the other hand, as Freedman told the New York Times, "almost anything looks pretty neat if it's shuffled into a pile." Order doesn't necessarily have inherent benefits in every space.

The takeaway: That's not necessarily an argument for messiness (and nothing here justifies leaving underwear on the floor). But Your Story's Malavika Velayanikal argued that there were two lessons that entrepreneurs could take away. One, employers shouldn't overvalue orderliness in a work setting, because disorder might help trigger creative solutions to problems in the workplace. The other was that employers should harness the creative energy of disorderly environments by creating "varied office spaces" instead of minimalist ones in order to help employees "break free from conventional thinking."

Basically, the emphasis on order and efficiency in work settings can be misplaced. Instead of maximizing efficiency, a rigid focus on routine can force employees to waste time on minutiae. Office Space had this lesson down:

Source: YouTube



WHAT HAS GOD PUT ON YOUR HEART TO DO?

WHAT HAS GOD PUT ON YOUR HEART TO DO?
What Has God Put on Your Heart to Do?

Is there something you’ve been considering doing lately? Do you have a thought rolling around in your head that maybe you should be paying more attention to? What has God put on your heart to do?

You are probably familiar with Jesus’ metaphor of new wine and new wineskins (Matthew 9:17). The general explanation is that when God is doing something new, we need to be open to it. Many of us rightly equate this metaphor to moves of God that seem large and obvious, such as churchwide or citywide revival. But it can also apply to our lives on a more individual, everyday scale.

Some of us have been Christians for so long that we have become rather set in our ways. Perhaps we’ve even adopted a type of spiritual atrophy and aren’t doing anything other than what we have done in the past. However, throughout Scripture, the people of God who are known for their great faith had to bend with the Holy Spirit. They had to leave behind their normal schedules and typical behavior in order to follow the plan of God for their lives. They accepted the “new wine” when it was presented to them, and they were open to the often radical change it had on their plans and life goals.

New wine — the new thing God is doing — requires new wineskins: people who are willing to be soft and pliable in God’s hands. They change shape as God pours into them, and they listen when He speaks.

What is God asking you to do that may require a bit of bending on your part? What have you been considering doing that maybe you should just go ahead and do? Is it getting up earlier to spend time with Him? Is it exercising regularly? Is it being kind to someone? Is it writing the book you’ve been thinking about writing or applying for a different job? Perhaps this recurring thought you’ve been having is something you should listen to.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 2:10, “God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” The Holy Spirit is the Great Communicator who searches the very deepest parts of God and then reveals them to us. The Spirit of the Living God dwells in, empowers, prepares and equips us so that we can get where we need to go and do what God has called us to do — so we reach the purpose for which He created us. Our next step could be as simple as paying attention to the idea that keeps coming up, the thought that keeps returning to us.

What is God telling your heart to do? Are you doing it? Whatever it is, it is sure to be a grand adventure, and it is sure to produce change.