My Life is Your Story
In my blog post, Is Life Good? Really?, I gave you a glimpse into an important understanding that has carried me in all aspects of my life. In that article I wrote about how I often pray for a certain outcome only to humbly acknowledge this simple truth, “Lord, my life is really your story you are writing. Whatever outcome you choose is best because that is where you are and that is where I want to be.”
Such a perspective could be misunderstood by some people. Some may even be uncomfortable with its implications and discard it completely as Christian babel because of its deep spiritual connotations. I will say that getting to a point of having this understanding was not easily obtained by me. It has taken a lifelong journey.
Laying the Foundation
I thought it would be helpful to start the retelling of this journey from my early childhood days. A number of events occurred then that began to lay this foundation for me.
Doctors first diagnosed my disability as Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) when I was the age of five. There was not much widespread knowledge of SMA at the time and there is still no known cure for it today. Mortality rates are quite high. One of the primary challenges for anyone with SMA is scoliosis, or curvature of the spine. The severity of the scoliosis dictates much of the SMA patient’s quality of life and even survivability. Because of this, managing scoliosis is usually the primary focus of doctors treating SMA patients. This effort usually becomes a race against time for children with SMA as the body grows and weight is added to the already weakened and deformed spine.
By the age of seven my body had grown enough to warrant the need for my first hospital stay. Doctor’s sent me to Warm Springs Rehabilitation Hospital in Warm Springs, GA. There they used traction to try to straighten the spine. Then they placed me in a full body cast from chest to ankles to keep me as straight as possible. This lasted for about a month. The entire process was repeated again about a year later. Imagine being a seven year-old laying flat in bed for weeks, completely immobile, in a hospital far from home. Obviously, such a procedure produced only temporary benefits. Two pictures in the photo gallery capture my time there at Warm Springs.
Following the Warm Springs years, doctors focused on keeping the muscles in my legs limber. Two surgeries over the next two years addressed this. Doctors stretched the muscles in my hips and down my legs to keep them from drawing up and tightening from lack of use. Post surgery found me in a cast from my hips to my ankles. I could not locate any useful pictures showing this. But, imagine the legs out straight being held wide apart by a bar between the knees. This would stay in place for about six weeks. Imagine how uncomfortable it is to lay in that position for six weeks and then the excruciating pain to move the legs again once the cast is removed.
I mentioned that doctor’s efforts with SMA patients is a race against time. The goal is to get through most of the childhood growth phase before doing a more permanent solution. For me though, by the time I was 11, the scoliosis had progressed to the point where my ability to sit was being compromised as well as having impacts to my respiratory functions. Although growth wasn’t yet complete, Doctor’s went ahead and planned a spinal fusion surgery. A typical spinal fusion surgery involves the fusion of a steel rod onto the back of the spine to give it strength. However, my spine was curved too severely for this type of procedure. Instead, doctors inserted a series of bolts and clamps grafted with bone from my leg to get a permanent attachment to my spine. The process required two surgeries. I was in Scottish Rite Children's Hospital from early fall of 1976 until just a few days before Christmas. After surgery, I was put into a cast over my whole upper body from just above the hips to over my shoulders. The cast stayed in place for the next 12-months. I have included a few pictures in the gallery that show this. I looked like either the Hunched Back of Notre Dame or a linebacker in full pads depending on your perspective.
Why would I bore you by forcing you to slog through some of the challenging events of my childhood? The reason is that there is a parallel story being written here. You have just read about the visible, physical story. There was also a much more important spiritual story unfolding behind the scenes, one that became the foundation of all that I am.
It was during this period that I became a Christian. It was there at the beginning of all of these events that the Lord began weaving in me complete trust and assurance that He had my fragile life in his hands. The prayers of a seven year old lying alone in a hospital bed in Warm Springs Georgia are quite simple. They focus on homesickness, fear, and wanting the discomfort to be removed. The Lord took those simple heartfelt prayers and met me with His assurance and presence. This assurance grew even deeper the next 4-5 years as I faced and was carried through four painful surgeries and many months of recovery.
This foundation of trust and complete confidence in the Lord was essential for the story called my life to unfold as He planned. Only He knew then what was next in this story. I didn’t. But, in order to one-day say, “Lord, my life is really your story you are writing. Whatever outcome you choose is best because that is where you are and that is where I want to be” requires complete trust in Him. This trust was forged in the fires of the events of my early childhood.
Inflection Point
But, I was not there yet. It was not the end, just the beginning. The Lord had much more of the story to unfold in my life. It was time for me to move beyond this childhood view of God, which saw him primarily as my protector and sustainer. When I was ready, the Lord began a new chapter in my story.
This began in 1988 when the youth pastor in our church personally invited me to take part in an intensive 26-week course called MasterLife, which I then followed with another course called Experiencing God. In these times of intensive study, I learned for the first time how to study the Bible, how to pray, and how to serve. I also learned that life is much bigger than the simple, self-centered, perspectives that we have on our own.
The most important growth area was in how I viewed God. Not only was He there taking care of me, he was there compelling me to follow His lead as he worked around me. One of the many memorable quotes in Experiencing God is, “Watch to see where God is working and join Him in His work.”
This is where the inflection point occurred in my life. I finally grasped that God’s activity in my life was not just for me. God is at work doing things much bigger than simply the small world I see today. He is working in ways that I can never imagine. And the amazing part is there is an open invitation to join him in that work.
An Unimaginable New World
Then, and only then could the Lord begin to write the next chapter of this story called my life. It was then that my pastor at the time asked me to lead a weekly Bible study group of young single adults. How could I say anything other than Yes?
Think of the progression of God’s story in my life:
- There in my early life He established He was trustworthy and had me every day, especially during dark days.
- Later He took me deeper into His word to teach me about Himself and to show me that so much more of His activity is going on around me than I ever realized.
- Finally, here was my invitation to join with Him in something incredibly new for me.
With some apprehension and a whole lot of excitement, I joined the Lord in this work. Without a doubt, this period of my life was incredibly new, rewarding and exciting. We started small; averaging only a few people, but over time grew to well over 20. Most importantly is the way we all grew in the Lord and with deep meaningful relationships with each other. And we had so much fun. For example, you all have heard of flash choruses where people will start singing in an open public space. You can ask anyone who was part of the group at the time. We didn’t have a flash chorus, but an unplanned flash Bible study that broke out late one Saturday night at a Dairy Queen. This is the kind of fun we had. Yes, it was quite the group.
For me, this was all an unimaginable new world. Look back at the focal picture for today’s posting. There I am, lying on my back, only at the beginning of many years of medical procedures, hospital stays, pain, and solitude. Then to see me at this point, with a place of service, an actual purpose, an opportunity to be a part of something much bigger than just me. I could never have imagined such an amazing place lying there in Warm Springs or five-years later wearing the cast on my back for a solid year. But, God knew though . Amazing, right?
Understanding the Purpose of it All
So, what is the purpose of writing today’s article? While the events of my life are unique to me, I believe the work of God is consistent in all lives. He always leads us to have a deep relationship with Him in order to include us in His incredible purpose. Many who are reading this today have experienced, or are experiencing, much more difficult challenges than I. I wonder what the Lord knows today about your future that he’s preparing you for in the events of today. The story that is unique to you is ready to be told. Maybe today’s article is simply to prod someone to allow God to open up the next chapter of your incredible story.
My story has brought me to say, “Lord, my life is really your story you are writing. Whatever outcome you choose is best because that is where you are and that is where I want to be.” I would love to hear your story. Either comment below, through Facebook, or LinkedIn, or email me directly.
What is Next?
For my next posting, I want to take time to celebrate a memorable anniversary. If you have lived in Atlanta for a while, you were most likely a part of this event in some way. Until then, have a safe and productive week.
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